Segovia

I almost forgot today was Sunday. Yikes. I didn't go to church (gasp!), but I did drop in for a few minutes of mass at a church built in the 11th century in the city of Segovia. Segovia's main attraction is the Roman aqueduct. What's crazy is that the city didn't stop actually using the thing to transport water until the 20th century. Like in the 19-teens or something. Spain was conquered by a lot of people (before they conquered a lot of people), among them, the Romans.

If you know anything about me, you know how I am about the Romans . . . I began to wonder if Mark Antony was in Segovia or anywhere in Spain at some time. I mean, he was a member of the 2nd Triumvirate (that was before Octavian bumped my boy and Lepidus and became the famous Caesar Augustus), so didn't he have to kind of check up on the provinces or whatever at some time? Just so I could say I've been where Mark Antony's been. Actually, I have. But that was when we lived in Italy back in the day. And that was before I cared about Mark Antony.

The Alcázar in Segovia (Arabic name for castle--the Arabs, or "Moors" at the time, were another group that conquered Spain after the Roman Empire fell) contains a room were King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella sat on their thrones and heard the petitions of Christopher Columbus in before he discovered the New World. I tried to imagine him kneeling respectfully before them, trying his best to persuade them to sponsor his voyage. We went to the very top of one of the towers and got some spectacular views. Sidenote about the Alcázar in Segovia: it is the model for Cinderella's castle at Disney World.

We also took a small stop by the city of Ávila. We didn't have time to explore, but we stopped at a lookout point and took some awesome pictures--it's surrounded by this spectacular wall that goes all around the city.

Oh, and lastly, I included pictures of another outdoor jazz concert we went to last night. We had a blast. It hit me why we were the only ones getting excited about the music: Jazz originated in the United States. As Americans, we couldn't help but get into it because it is the music of our homeland! I could tell you a story about a creepy guy who came up to us afterward and told us some stuff that was overwhelmingly TMI, but that would not be expedient. Lawful, perhaps, but not expedient. lol. More to come!

Independence Day in Spain

Well, Spain doesn't exactly have an Independence Day. They were the ones other countries had to fight for independence from. Yep. The oppressors and colonizers of Latin America.

Anyway, even though we didn't have this huge 4th of July celebration, an adventurous group of us took a walking tour. Out of all the places we went, the coolest was the San Esteban monestary. Christopher Columbus was trying to convince people that he knew a short cut (and was also trying to get money). He'd been before Queen Isabel and King Ferdinand several times, but one of the groups he appeared before was a council of monks and scholars that met in the monestary of San Esteban in Salamanca, Spain.

I got to walk into a room where Columbus presented his case, which eventually led to the "discovery" of the place I call home. How's that for 4th of July patriotism?

We also went to a convent with beautiful gardens, went to the very top of the Salamanca cathedral and took some awesome shots and ended the night at a jazz concert. I've also included some pictures from Thursday night--the plaza is absolutely dazzling at night, and we learned how to salsa. Ay, ay, ay!

Create Your Own

Create Your Own

Livin' la Vida Española

Schedules are different in Spain. We eat breakfast at the normal time, but we don't eat lunch until 2 p.m. (Most Spaniards get a little midday snack to tide them over.) It's the biggest meal of the day. There's a siesta, which is the most awesome power nap ever, and businesses close during that time . . . from about 2 to 4:30 or 5. Dinner doesn't come until 9 p.m., and it's lighter than the lunch meal.

The great thing is that it doesn't even start getting dark until about 10:30, so places in the Plaza Mayor (main plaza) stay open until as late as 2 a.m. The plaza is great . . . you'll see old couples walking along arm in arm, little kids playing and running around, younger couples . . . well, this is Europe . . . and there are bunches of stores and little cafes with places to sit outside. Ideal for people watching and just soaking it in. Anyway, last night a few classmates and I decided to have a midnight "study session" in a cafe at the plaza. Yeah, we got loads done.

Here's a gem right here--an automatic bathroom thing on the street that you have to pay 20 euro cents to use:

Additionally, no trip to Europe would be complete without a pseudo-crush. My crush of choice this time around? The front desk guy. Well, there are 3 front desk guys, but my guy is the one who's there in the morning. This morning he was telling a couple of us over breakfast about the music he likes, and he mentioned a reggae-ish singer named Shaggy. Except he pronounced it "Soggy." We were like, who? Finally he said, "You know Scooby Doo? The same name as Scooby Doo's friend." Oh, Shaggy! Awww.

More to come!

Cool Buildings and Stuff

Me at the Plaza Mayor


The Cathedral


Me and Katie in front of the Cathedral


If you click on this pic to enlarge it, you may be able to better see the faint red writing on the wall. They are words written with the blood of bulls from bullfights long ago.

Frutería

A frutería is a store that sells fruit and vegetables. Here's a grammar lesson. Adding "-ería" (more or less) onto a noun in Spanish turns it into a word meaning a store that sells that noun. For example:

zapato = shoe, zapatería = shoe store

papel = paper, papelería = paper (stationery) store

pan = bread, panadería = bakery

joya = jewel, joyería = jewelry store

Anyway, this morning, I was telling the front desk guy that I wanted to meet more Spanish people so that I'd have more opportunities to practice my Spanish. Then he was like, "Okay, here's an opportunity to practice your Spanish. I have a list of things that I'm going to order from the frutería. I'm going to call them and let you order." (We also eat at our residence, and I guess one of the front desk guy's duties is to keep the kitchen stocked with whatever they need.) He re-wrote out his little list in neater handwriting for me and called the place and gave the phone to me. Cinco kilos de patatas, diez lechugas, tres sacos de limones . . . it gave me flashbacks of when we lived in Italy across the street from a grocery store and my mom would send me over to order from the deli.

Anyway, there's my Spanish experience of the day. More to come!

¡Hola!

From Atlanta, to Paris, to Madrid we went. Air France hospitality was notable as far as airplane service goes, but there were periods of time I thought I was at Six Flags. Seriously. I mean, I love Six Flags, and I'm a rollercoaster fiend, but not thousands of feet up in the air. Naw.

Anyway, on the Paris to Madrid, I sat next to a friendly-looking Spaniard and wanted to get some practice in before touchdown, so I struck up a conversation asking him if he liked cookies. Only because he hadn't eaten his. But I guess he thought I was asking because I wanted them and he gave them to me. Okay, okay . . . deep down inside I wanted them. Anyway, I learned that he was fluent in 5 languages (that makes me SO jealous) and we discussed things from Spanish grammar to American politics. He even carried my carry-on off the plane for me. Aww. Here's a bit of cultural info: When greeting one another and before leaving, Spanish people kiss each other on both cheeks. (Men to women and women to women only. No male bonding stuff going on.) It means absolutely nothing other than 'hi' and 'bye,' but when we cheek kissed goodbye after getting off the plane, I felt like I'd been baptized in Spanishness. Welcome back!

Last night was a bit of orientation and finding our way around. The main plaza was dazzling . . . we had the requisite tapas, I splurged on a bit of decadent Spanish ice cream, and as the night wore on, a few of us decided to head back. Unfortunately, a person in the trio of us who headed back to the residence knew that she knew a quicker way back. It turned out to be a bad idea to trust and follow her. Homegirl got us so lost . . . it was ridiculous. I ended up asking a Spanish lady where a landmark I remembered was located. I figured if we could get to what I remembered, we could find our way back. Channy saves the day! And yes, it was technically day. It must've been 1 a.m. by the time we got back. Homegirl sheepishly said, "I guess you won't follow me anywhere again." T'yeah.

Today was the first day of class, and it was great. The professors are animated and really into their stuff. That always makes it less boring. I'm taking Spanish Theatre of the Golden Age, Introduction to Latin American Literature, and The Spanish Post-War Novel. Exciting stuff.

Spain recently won the Euro Cup (soccer, or the real football is a gargantuan deal here) and so I thought I'd get in the spirit and wear my España shirt today. Upon seeing my shirt, random people on the street yelled out "España!" with raised fist, and I did the same in turn. It made me feel authentic. Like, the shirt gave me street cred.

Anyway, here are some pics of my first full day:

On our way to class!

At the Colegio de Maestro Ávila between classes

The Colegio de Maestro Ávila (where morning classes are held)

The group (along with professor) in the Spanish Theatre of the Golden Age class


Some cool looking Salamancan buildings

Washing handfuls of delicious cherries our gregarious program director lavished on us

Me right before Introduction to Latin American Lit

Here's my home away from home:

Messy bed accompanied by bookbag and George

Nice desk scattered with a bunch of stuff overlooking a window. (With my zoning habit, I'm never going to get any work done.)

My oh, so European bathroom, featuring a bidet. (I'll let you look up what it's used for.)

More to come!

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

Someone mentioned that familiar saying in reference to this blog.

At first, I was a little defensive and annoyed because blogging is a fun little creative outlet that I enjoy, and implying that my blogging would cause others to view me in a contemptuous light elicted nothing but a huge mental 'whatever' from me. At first. Then, I listened to what they were saying (a genius idea when someone is trying to make a point) and seriously considered the merit of the point they were trying to make.

What do people mean when they say "Familiarity breeds contempt"? Basically, that the more you know about someone, the less respect you have for them because you are overexposed to them; more specifically, you are more likely to find fault with them and more likely to notice their flaws.

Though I try to not to reveal identifying details about my life and that of others who wind their way into my life's narrative, I must admit that I do reveal a lot about myself emotionally—my feelings, my thoughts, my likes and dislikes, my hopes, my fears, my experiences, my views. One could learn about me quickly and easily via my blog what would take time and effort for one to learn about me the old fashioned way. And that makes me wonder if the ease of access to personal details that characterize some blogs combined with the ubiquity of the Internet that allows them to exist allow not only an effortlessly gained hyper-familiarity, but also produce a contempt and lack of respect (or rather, less respect than would be otherwise had) due to that hyper-familiarity.

We call people who physically expose themselves to strangers exhibitionists. (We also consider them sickos and would never hope to be unwitting witnesses.) But what about people who emotionally expose themselves to strangers? Would we call them emotional exhibitionists? No? Oh . . . bloggers. At least the Where-You-Can-Find-Me-ish type.

The allure of blogging comes from having a built-in, overwhelmingly (most of the time) sympathetic audience. Having a bad day? There are people out there who feel your pain. Relationship woes? There are people out there who experienced the same thing. Wondering what would be best? There are people out there willing to lend you $0.02. Embarking on an adventure? There are people out there who want to virtually experience it with you.

I don't see anything harmful about any of that. At best, it's therapeutic, at worst, it's self-important. But my misgivings have to do not simply with people knowing about me, but because of that knowledge, in the long run, affecting people's esteem of me. And not only that, but also making it too easy to know about me without truly getting to know me.

I'm not saying I want to stop blogging altogether. But I've really been challenged to reevaluate the effects and consequences of it.

"Self-knowledge," a Poem

by C. K. Williams

Because he was always the good-hearted one, the ingenuous one, the one who knew no cunning,

who, if "innocent" didn't quite apply, still merited some similar connotation of naïveté, simplicity,

the sense that an essential awareness of the coarseness of other people's motives was lacking

so that he was constantly blundering upon situations in which he would take on good faith

what the other rapaciously, ruthlessly, duplicitously and nearly always successfully offered as truth. . .

All of that he understood about himself but he was also aware that he couldn't alter at all

his basic affable faith in the benevolence of everyone's intentions and

that

because of this the world

would not as in romance annihilate him but would toy unmercifully with

him until he was mad.

(P.S. For whatever reason, Blogger won't allow me to maintain the integrity of the line breaks in this poem, but there it is.)

Things That Probably Only I Notice/Care/Think About

Paint ain't
I was going to WalMart and saw a sign on a paint store that I'm sure was printed "PAINT SALE," but a little flap of the sign was blown over, so instead it said "AINT SALE." I don't know why that was so amusing to me. "Sorry, son, you cain't buy no paint here. You saw the sign. Ain't no sale."

Butterfly cards
Upon arriving at Wally World, I was elated to find a package of blank cards that were just imprinted with me-ness. Lavender-rimmed with a lone butterfly in the middle. I almost believe God knew I wanted to buy some blank cards, and He knew what kind of cards I wanted in my heart of hearts, so he aligned a series of events so that I would walk in to Wal Mart and see those cards and buy them with a sense of destiny.

Blowdryer
I have a dilemma. I keep breaking my blowdryer attachment combs, so I constantly buy replacement attachments. I used to have a Vidal Sassoon but I don't anymore. But the only replacement attachments I can find in town that come close to fitting are Vidal Sassoon. But the attachments don't fit exactly right on my blowdryer because they're not the right brand, so they break even more often. So I resolved to give in and just buy a new Vidal Sassoon blowdryer of the right model so that the attachments would fit. But WalMart didn't have any, the brutes. So I went to one of those special stores that has an array of "ethnic hair care" products along with a better variety of blowdryers. The store is run by a polite, efficient Korean lady who usually gives me the hookup with the attachment replacements. But today I walked in and was shocked to see an old, starkly white man manning the register. Seeing him juxtaposed with the entire wall of hair weave packages behind him was mildly amusing. Meanwhile, I eavesdropped on the Spanish conversation of two Hispanic women at the register ahead of me. I thought of the events in World History that allowed my existence, the man's existence, the Korean lady's existence and the Hispanic women's existences to converge in that beauty supply store.

Pimp to punk
Listening to the banal Christian radio station on the way to Panera Bread, I noticed that the word "pimp" is replaced with "punk" in what I guess is the radio version of tobyMac's song "Lose My Soul." (This comes after Mr. Franklin steps up to the mic.) Like, it's a Christian song, but they had to Christianize it even more in order to make it acceptable to a mainstream Christian audience. But, how is a punk more Christian than a pimp?

Panera vs. Starbucks
Upon arriving at Panera, I was excited at the prospect of getting to use my fully stamped card to get a free drink. Each time you buy a drink, you get a stamp on your little card (if you present it, which I always promptly do.) You have to get that puppy stamped eight times before you reach the status of free drinkdom. Then you get a new card and it begins anew. Then I wondered why Panera doesn't seem to have the prestige of Starbucks. It has so many more advantages: the free drink card, free Wi-Fi, and they offer actual food in addition to good coffee. Maybe because the more accessible something is, the less prestige it has. Or rather, the more prohibitive elements surrounding something, the more prestige it has. At Starbucks, you have to pay for Wi-Fi, for example.

(Sigh.) I know that I must enjoy these last few days of wandering musings and enjoy them well. For the day approaches where my brain will once again be held hostage to work.

It's Maddening

'Maddening' is a word I like to use in lieu of 'frustrating.' 'Frustrating' sounds so blah. Like a word only tightly wound, anal, obsessive-compulsive people use to describe situations that don't go their way. 'Maddening' has deep violet shades of meaning. 'Frustrating' only messes with your head. But 'maddening' perturbs your soul. Or maybe I'm just making that up.

Anyway, I'm really trying to see this state I'm in in a fun-loving light. Expect the unexpected! or Life is a highway/I'm gonna ride it all night long. Or, better yet, It's my life/It's now or never/I ain't gonna live forever/I just wanna live while I'm alive. Since I don't know what's going on, just kinda carpe diem my way through it. I'm even trying to look at it in a "Footprints" way. You know, I saw one pair of footprints in the sand and I got ticked at God for leaving me, but then He was like,"Cool it, my child, that was when I was carrying you."

Uncertainty is maddening. Facing decisions within that uncertainty is maddening. Trying to figure out what's best: Balancing the fact that you really care about what people you really love think with the fact that whatever decisions you make as a woman who is literally 4 years shy of 30 are your decisions alone and that you are the one who will have to live with them. It's humbling. It's daunting. It's maddening. It makes me cry.

A week from tomorrow, I board a Spain-bound plane. It doesn't even seem like it. But once I get there, WHAM! Just imagine a hefty pack of three intensive, month-long graduate courses in Spanish. Then, as soon as I get back, WHAM! An amalgamation of Meet the Parents, packing, moving, unpacking, and Graduate Teaching Assistant orientation. And what are you writing your thesis on? Durned if I know. Wonderful! And what are you doing once you graduate? See the aforementioned. Here's the kicker: I signed up for this. It's not like life has blindsided me with a rush and tumble of events. I knew what was coming. You can't whine about being unprepared when you were given ample notice, and not just notice, but you prompted this series of events of your own free will. But what could I do to prepare? Other than steeling myself? anesthetizing my heart? (Which is impossible.)

Wait-and-see is maddening. It seems that no matter how much I knock-knock-knock on Heaven's door, "wait and see" is the hollow reply. It's a new and uncomfortable sensation for me. Feeling at the mercy of factors beyond my control. And I suppose I always was at the mercy of those elusive factors, it's just that I haven't been dealt such a raw slice of that reality until now. And this from a girl who claims to relish her steak medium rare.

Born-Again Flosser Goes to Birmingham

I woke up this morning with remnants of swordfish and pork between my teeth. Had I known that I was going to spend the night away from home, I would have brought some dental floss. I need dental floss. I begin to suffer from withdrawal if I don't have it. I became addicted to it once, for the first time in my life at 19, my dentist discovered a cavity. I've been a born-again flosser ever since.

The swordfish got in there when I went out to lunch with one of my guls in Birmingham (more affectionately known as B'ham, or, simply, The Ham). It may have been the first time I've ever had swordfish. It just sounded exciting, so I got it. It was covered with creamy sauce, too. Then we skiddadled off to the Galleria, and my gul got me a shirt that made me feel like a Greek goddess when I put it on. If I had to choose, I'd choose Athena.


Later, the illustrious M made us a splendid dinner of stuffed pork tenderloin and asparagus. That's how the pork got in there.


A dessert of warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream topped with caramel and whipped cream did me in. It also caused me to have bizarre dreams: I had an argument with my mom because she didn't want to shake hands with one of my friends. I began to cry and yell at her saying, "Mom, how can you call yourself a Christian and treat people that way? It's not fair!" Then I ran away. She called after me saying, "Girl, don't you know I was just kidding?" LOL.

And look at the breakfast I ate this morning! That's what I'm talking about. I could subsist on breakfast food indefinitely.


So, maybe some bacon got in there, too.

Oh, but once I made it back to the Gump, I whipped out that dental floss before you could shake a stick. Glorious. Look, I've got some sizable chompers. I've gotta keep those things right.

I remember

taking a walk throught the neighborhood with my mom and asking her what "S-T-O-P" spelled.

seeing a homeless person for the first time.

crying during Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" video.

being elated that Santa Claus had come, not realizing that I had actually caught my parents redhanded.

not wanting to get on the school bus, but being happy once I was shown the Cheetos and M&Ms in my lunch box.

my Minnie Mouse backpack.

not liking Grouchy Smurf and getting offended if I were accused of being like him.

loving Piglet.

tennis shoes with no shoelaces but two velcro straps across the front.

watching an old Italian woman at the beach cut a sea urchin in half and slurp out the insides.

Parmalat milk.

feeding raw hotdogs to a stray neighborhood dog.

throwing rose petals on a float of a patron saint and a Virgin.

fighting a boy over a swing.

having a crush on the pizza delivery boy.

swishing my mouth out with fluoride once a week at school because there was no fluoride in the water.

jumping off the high dive into the deep end.

wishing I could paint "Waterlilies" by Monet.

playing the flute in Beginning Band and walking home with a boy who played the sax.

feeling more out of place in the United States than in a foreign country.

punching in a lunch number at the cafeteria register.

the ecstatic catharsis of speaking in tongues for the first time.

being a candy striper over the summer.

the dread of my first kiss.

the smell of Bath and Body Works Pearberry body spray.

the complete darkness, booming, dramatic drum beat and piercing, heartwrenching bagpipe which began the version of the play Macbeth that I saw in high school.

a boy who wrote "We Did It!" on his torso in body paint and lifting his robe to show the audience after he got his diploma.

sorrowfully crying after my parents dropped me and my belongings off in a dorm room.

the feeling of getting a new life every semester.

feeling the impact of my car hitting a telephone pole and gritting my teeth against crushed glass.

watching alternating stretches of graffitied urban sprawl and countryside speed by a train window.

observing a butterfly with a torn wing flutter on the curb.

. . . and Hillary is an honorable man

Mark Antony's funeral oration in the Shakespearean play Julius Caesar has been a long time obsession of mine. Basically, Mark Antony acts as if he's being all complimentary of Brutus & Co. when he's actually inciting the mob's anger against them. (If you have a nerdy streak, I'd click the above link and read the whole scene to get the full impact. But if not, just scroll down to where Mark Antony begins with "Friends, Romans, countrymen.")

Okay, now read this article, and tell me that it doesn't remind you of Mark Antony's funeral oration! I don't think Obama is trying to deceptively incite the plebians' anger against Hillary at all, but the whole combination of an orator, booing "plebians" in the audience, and the orator's appeal to an "offender's" noble character just channels that scene in Julius Caesar for me.

The Wedding

It was yesterday, and it went over wonderfully. Thankfully, I was feeling 100% myself, no more, er, resurgences, I was able to do my little duet and keep the hyperactive flower girl focused. Surprisingly, I didn't cry. Like, usually I'm a softie, but I guess I was just so excited and happy that no tears came to my eyes. Instead of feeling this bittersweet oh-my-friend feeling, I felt like Yay! And I couldn't stop smiling. A few pics:

Oh, and here are a few pics from our fiesta themed wedding shower. Caliente!

Anyway, tomorrow I fly away from the boonies and back to the Gump. Then I have to repack for España in about a week and a half, and then I'll eventually have to pack up my entire apartment to move to Auburn . . . and there will be other mini-adventures in-between (sigh), but we'll cross those bridges when we get there. Well, NoDak, ta-ta for now!

Why Me, Why Now?

Ugh. All day yesterday, as of 5:30 a.m., I was wretchedly sick. The details would be, in short, tmi, but suffice it to say that it was not pretty at all. Even today I feel a little fuzzy, but at least things that I take in are staying down, youknaaimsayin? And the weird thing is that I never get sick. Seriously, I very rarely get sick. And when I do get sick, it's a little head cold, or at worst, a fever. Never an extravaganza of grossness.

But, holy buckets, now is not the time to get sick! I'm the maid of honor, and the rehearsal, replete with keeping the flower girl in check and singing a duet, is tonight. Meaning that the wedding, the real deal, the thing that I've come to the boonies two weeks early for, is tomorrow!

Fuzziness, fuzziness, go away, come again some other day . . . Or better yet, go away and never come back. This is not the business.

Another Non-Update

(sigh)

I'm still in NoDak. Tomorrow (well, today) is the bridal shower. It's a fiesta theme, and we're getting all this fun, festive, spicy stuff . . . I'm in charge of getting the games together. We're going to do a really interesting one dealing with candy bars. lol.

I talked to the guy that I'm getting to know today. (Well, yesterday.) And there was nothing radically different about talking to him this time than the other times I've talked to him. It's just that I'm all overly analytical and he's totally chill. That's comforting. Like, if he were also overly analytical, that would just be too much. That is all.

My Wedding Dress Story

As you know, weddings have been on the brain. I can't help it. On the eve of the bridesmaid dress alteration marathon I have to look forward to tomorrow (when my time comes, I am NOT ordering those bad boys online), my mind turns to the extraordinarily weird story of why I am having a wedding dress made for me despite the absence of some integral things that would elicit the need for a wedding dress . . . a groom-to-be, for starters.

(sigh.) Where shall I begin? The kind of wedding dress that I want is weird. It's not something from which you can get the hook up at David's Bridal. I want a medieval/Renaissance/Shakespearean kind of thing going on. I want a Maid Marian/Queen Guinevere look with draping sleeves, a bodice kind of tie up thing in the front. In fact, I have posted about it before, but it was in reference to a random guy that I met who happened to have had a whole medieval themed wedding.

Anyway, there's a lady at my church who's into sewing and stuff, and she was with another lady at my church looking at patterns and what not. They both saw a particular pattern and both said, "That's Chantell." She later told me this, and mentioned that I just had to see the pattern for this dress, and that she wanted to make it for me. I thought it was just some dress that I'd wear to church or whatever. Months passed, and she finally remembered to bring the pattern to church and showed it to me.

"This is a wedding dress," I said, wide-eyed. She nodded, smiling, and said that she wanted to make it for me. She always wanted to make a wedding dress. The scary thing is that it is exactly what I want. The draping sleeves. The bodice tie up thing in the front. The Renaissance look. The model in the picture on the pattern was even sporting a circlet of flowers on her head. Alas, fair maiden! How I have longed to finally rest mine eyes upon thee. I have traversed land and sea in pursuit of thee. I have braved many dangers, toils and snares. I have traveled many kingdoms near and far, scouring the earth for thee. And now, at long last, my weary soul hath found sweet relief. O, maiden! At long last, I have found thee. And dost thou have a blog? Where You Can Find Me? Aye, I have found thee.

So, anyway. Lady at my church brought swatches of material as well as trim for me to choose from, took my measurements, and is ordering everything to get to work. Weirdness! I mean, this is totally unsolicted. It's not like I came up to her and said, "Sister, by faith, I'm getting married, so I'm asking you to make me wedding dress. I claim a husband in Jesus' name!" lol. What was I supposed to do, tell her no? Like I said, it's exactly what I want. Maybe by the time she finishes it I'll need it. Who knows?

Fist Bump

Is it necessary for me to go on and on about how elated I am that my boy clinched the nomination? I didn't think so. I was going to go all out once it was announced, but, let's just say that the words have already been taken out of my mouth (well, I guess it depends on whose words they are.) But once I saw this on cnn.com, I had to break down and post a little something to give my boy props. It's hilarious!

Why Not Minot?

Freezin's the reason.

That's the proverbial Air Force joke about Minot, North Dakota. (More affectionately known as NoDak). Thank the Lord it's not freezing right now . . . I wouldn't be able to take it. I have heard horror stories of brutal winters here. Like, 30 below zero, a ridiculous number of inches of snow, people having to plug in their cars so the motors or whatever don't freeze. Yikes. Anyway, right now, the weather's super nice. A welcome reprieve from the sticky sweet torrid heat of Montgomery (more affectionately known as the Gump).

What have I been doing? Well, for starters I've been perfecting my Midwestern accent imitation. "Do you want your receipt or do you want it in the baeg?" Um, the bag? "I pledge allegiance to the flaeg . . . " Um, the flag? People also say "You betcha" a lot. I had a delightful conversation with the deliveryman who brought my friend's parents' new oven in. I had on my ancient "COLLEGE" t-shirt (a la "Animal House").

Deliveryman: Soo, you're in cahlege?

Me: No, I've been out for a while. I've just finished my third year teaching elementary and middle school kids.

Deliveryman: Ooh. Ya knoo, Iy've been tryna keep my son invahlved, ya knoo, with reeding and ahl oover the sahmmer, Iy would lahve fer sahmeone ta tooter em sahmtime, Iy'd pey ya a reesonable amount every week er soo . . .

Me: Oh, I'd love to help . . . I tutored kids in my extra time when I was teaching, but I'm leaving in about two weeks. I'm sorry!

This dude totally didn't know me from Adam and was trying to get me to tutor his kid. I guess the whole friendly, small town thing is for real.

Anyway, I've also been running around town doing stuff for wedding preparations, and having a devilish time buying a bunch of risque stuff to embarrass my friend for the shower. I'm pretty pleased with the way I wrapped her present:

Ay, ay, ay! :-)

The flower girl's mom wanted me to meet her since we'll be walking down together during the ceremony, and she wanted her daughter to get to know me so she'll be comfortable around me, etc. We hit it off right away. And she looked so darling in her flower girl dress!

And of course, the happy couple:

Yep. My fellow former military brat friend is settling down with a homegrown NoDak boy. They joke about the prospect of having Norweigan-Polish-black babies.

I'm overjoyed for my gul. She's such a godly, beautiful person and she deserves all the happiness in the world. The lucky groom is such a great guy. I know they're going to make each other happy.

(Sigh.) Weddings have SO been on the brain lately. This is the second summer in a row that I've been in one. It doesn't help matters that a lady at my church has taken it upon herself to make me a wedding dress. I realized that I haven't divulged that bit yet. Yeah, it's a crazy story. But what's cool is that it's EXACTLY what I want. It's scary. But that'll be for another day. You betcha.

Packing Procrastination

I always wait until the last minute to pack. Bad idea. My flight leaves at 6:40 a.m., which means that I have to be there 5:30ish . . . this is not looking good. I haven't even started yet. Boo.

Tomorrow, I'm heading off to the boonies of North Dakota to help out with and participate as the maid of honor in my gul's wedding. (The gul getting married is the cutie pie on the left in the picture in the sidebar above the caption "My guls.") The wedding isn't until June 14th, but I'm going two weeks early to help out with all of the stuff, wedding shower, dress fittings, song practicings, etc. I'm so excited and happy for my gul. She's taking the big plunge! (Will I be next?)

Anyway, I won't be incommunicado, but my postings will probably be less frequent for the next two weeks. Now, if I could just decide what to bring . . .

Ruggedly Handsome

Anyway, I just watched Things We Lost in the Fire. It was okay . . . a few elements of the plot were kind of unbelievable, but overall the acting was decent. Nevertheless, my Benicio del Toro crush was hopelessly revived. It's hard to find a good picture of Benicio because his handsomeness is mad rugged. Hard core rugged. Like if you ever met him in person, you'd be smothered in ruggedness. He's one of those guys who's definitely better appreciated in action.

(Added 5/30/08 @ 11:33 a.m.): An unlikely source has enlightened me as to the heart of Benicio's allure. He has presence. That's why a photo doesn't do him justice. You have to see him in action in order to get a feel of his presence.

The Update That Really Isn't an Update

(Sigh.) Will I regret this?

If I have to start out even asking that question, chances are that I will. Maybe.

I vowed not to give an update unless things had "radically and irrevocably" changed concerning "getting to know this guy." Being that this guy is a regular reader, there is only so much I can divulge without being unnecessarily transparent and/or inflating his ego (which has probably already happened because he's getting, albeit anonymous, air time. Er, blog time.)

So, do I fixedly blog around this guy as I have vowed to do, or do I sporadically give non-updates?

Non-update: I am still getting to know him. I will probably get to know him even more if I continue getting to know him.

I'm an Official Traitor

Today I went up to Auburn to get all the GTA (graduate teaching assistant) paperwork done, and since I was in the area, I stopped by the campus bookstore to get an official t-shirt since they're asking all Spain trip participants to wear one to the airport so that we're easily identifiable as part of the same group.

I found the one that suited my tastes the most: Auburn orange with navy blue letters outlined in white that says, simply, "Auburn."

I was so pleased with my purchase that I slipped into the ladies room and put it on. As soon as I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt the gravity of what I had done. I hope the Bear isn't turning over in his grave. I still have one of his hats . . . I just can't wear it with the shirt.

Sunflower Day

If you haven't noticed, I am wild about sunflowers. They're just so bright, spunky, happy, energetic and beautiful. To me, sunflowers represent all the good there is in the world. They're floral encarnations of rays of sunshine that enliven your life and make you feel happy to be alive.

Today is a sunflower day. I woke up bathed in sunshine that filtered through my windows. I spent time with people that I love. I laughed with carefree abandon. I went to the park and got on the swings. I felt the welcome breeze as the sun beat down on me.

I know it's a bad idea to romanticize life. I know there's a danger in looking at everything through rose colored glasses. I know that simply ignoring pain, horror and sadness is naive. It's audacious to think you can somehow escape reality.

Though I know things will inevitably change about my present mood and situation, I just have to say that today, everything is beautiful.

Confessions of a Blogger

This article is a little long, but engrossing. In a scary way, I could identify with the author's feelings concerning blogging about her life. Granted, blogging is not a part of my job, neither does my blogging even come close to the big time stuff she was involved in, but the general thrust of her narrative has striking similarities to some stories I could tell that all revolve around sharing thoughts and details of life with pairs of eyes around the world. Check it out here.

What is up with my generation's impulse towards self-exposure? The positive consequences can be delightful and solidarity-building. But the negative consequences can be devestating and disastrous. Why do I continue to do it? I guess in some part because I've strived to keep the purpose of my blog at the forefront of my mind: creative outlet as opposed to no holds barred auto-expose. That is not to say that revealing the personal hasn't put me in some awkward, even demoralizing predicaments. But I think that I've learned from my mistakes and that overall, I've been pretty balanced about it. Secondly, I continue to blog because, at least for me, the positive consequences have far outweighed the negative.

Like many things in life, I guess blogging is one more item that falls under the bittersweet category.

The Last Debate

NYT columnist Maureen Dowd wrote a hilarious imagined conversation between Hillary and Barack. Check it out here.

My Smoke Detector Does Its Job

I had this sexy idea that I was going to light a couple of scented candles in my bathroom so that I could shower by fragrant, sultry candlelight. (sigh) Me and my borderline pyromania.

It didn't go over without a hitch. No sooner had I lit the things than my ear-splitting smoke detector started going off. Spacy me forgot to take into account the proximity of the smoke detector to the bathroom. Talk about killing the mood! Even taking the battery out didn't shut it up. I'm sure I lost a few percentage points of my hearing. My smoke detector is hard core. Nothing can be done but allow it to run its incessant, annoying, shrill course. At least I can take comfort in knowing that if something seriously fire related went down, I would be abundantly alerted. I guess that's kind of the smoke detector's job.

Commencement

Today was commencement at my place of employment. It's a small private school and all of the teachers participate. The whole faculty dons cap and gown and those little stoles that nearly choke you which display the colors representing your alma mater. I'm so schizophrenic. I graduated from Alabama and now I'm going to Auburn for grad school. All of my UA grad co-workers are telling me, "Don't forget where you've come from," and all of my AU grad co-workers are telling me, "You've finally made the right choice! War Eagle!"

It finally started to sink in that this was the last time I'd be participating in commencement at the place I've called home for 3 years. This was my first real job. Though I'm ready to move on, I know I'm going to miss it.

It's amazing how things change. It's amazing how worries that once heartwrenchingly consumed you are so easily forgotten. How something unheard of can transform into the familiar. How hesitation can give way to embrace. Even though I'm going through this weird, transitional period, somehow, the prospect of the future doesn't trouble me as it has done in the past. Instead, it makes me giddy with expectation.

What Is That Smell?

That's what I'd been asking myself for the past couple of days of my apartment.

I hate bad smells. (I mean, who likes them?) And I despise it when I cannot find the source to eradicate them. I finally realized that it was a container of broccoli, cauliflower and carrots gone bad in my refrigerator. I mean, it was wretched. It was not just a garbagey, nasty smell, it was kind of tangy, too. Like an incredibly foul tang. How did something so healthy turn into something so God awful? Neglect and procrastination. I kept telling myself I was going to eat it one day, but never did. Now I never will. Thank goodness this is just broccoli, cauliflower and carrots we're dealing with here.

I have an array of scented candles that I've never burned in my apartment. But I've recently bought a gignormous box of matches. There's something about about striking a match and watching things burn that is so attractive to me. I may be a borderline pyromaniac. So, I used eradicating the tangy smell of rotten veggies as an excuse to light every single scented candle I own. Ah! Now my apartment smells divine. If not suffocatingly sweet.

Obamamania

Things are looking up for my boy. He's blown Hillary out of the water recently, and though she trounced him in West Virginia, it didn't make a dent. At this point, there's really nothing homegirl can do to bolster her weak case for the nomination. Plus she's $20 million in the hole. And on top of that, the Edwards endorsement. Aw, man, both of them were madly feenin for Edwards to swing their way after he dropped out. Not counting Bill Richardson's act of treachery, lol, that's got to be the sting the smarts the most.

In a way, I feel sorry for her. She was the assumed nominee when this thing got started. I believe she worked hard to get where she did. Then a young, scrappy, upstart with a funny name turned it upside down. The more I think about it, the more amazing Obama's rise really is. I know there are legitimate doubts about him, but I really believe he's ushered in a new kind of politics. Instead of the usual hardball, he plays smartball. And it's working. Just look at the way he's raised record amounts of money online. An overwhelming majority of his donors are not old-money, machine-invested, big-time donors. They're small $25 donors culled from ordinary Americans who want to be a part of the political process and his success.

But like I said, there are legitimate concerns about him. Let's see if I can address a few that were brought to my attention:

1. Rev. Wright and 20 years of association. Why did he only recently disavow him?

When Obama first began his association with Rev. Wright, he was a man in search of identity. He was trying to connect with a community that he was a part of by virtue of having a black father, but that he wasn't a part of through experience. Associating with Rev. Wright and the church and being a community organizer in that area helped him gain that experience, identity and maybe even sense of belonging. Perhaps Obama knew Wright was incendiary. But his incendiary tendencies, though they cannot be excused or affirmed, must be understood in context. I don't need to give a recap of American history for anyone to have an idea of where the anger that fuels Wright's most controversial statements comes from. I think, in the end, that Obama decided the good Wright had done concerning his family and bettering his community outweighed the bad surrounding his extreme stances. If Obama had've categorically disavowed him and cut off all ties upon entering the political arena, that would have been purely politically motivated. He still cared about the man even though he repudiated his statements. I could say the same thing for many people I care about. I guess that's why, though unfortunate, the Wright fiasco isn't a reason for me to discount Obama. In addition, I think Obama did an awesome job explaining his ties with Wright during his speech on race in March in Philadelphia.

2. His wife, Michelle. What was her Princeton thesis all about?

Granted, I haven't read the entire document, but she basically stated that as an African-American at a predominantly white institution, she was made to feel like an outsider and not really allowed complete social access in that environment because of her race. I know that idea may make some people bristle, but, um, it's not something she made up. I, too am an African-American woman who attended a predominantly white institution. Heck, had I tried to go a few decades earlier, George Wallace would've (tried to have) stopped me. Sometimes experience is the best explanation. Ever been the only black person in an honors class and were made to be the spokesperson for your entire race? Ever sat staring at a t-shirt featuring Nathan Bedford Forrest (founder of the KKK) worn by someone at a meeting for a social organization? Ever had to hear a tirade from a parent "concerned for her daughter's safety" because of a potential black roomate (I was the Resident Assistant, not the potential roomate.)? Those are just a few examples.

My experience at UA was grand. I wouldn't change it for the world. They were great, memorable times. The Man didn't grab hold of me and pin me down, preventing my progress in society. But I know what Michelle Obama was talking about.

3. Obama seems to have trouble delineating policy beyond "hopefulness." Is that a concern?

I would like to hear more policy-specific ideas from my boy as well. But maybe he's being smart by not offering concrete plans that he may not be able to deliver on if elected. People forget that there's a process to enacting policy. You can propose to do everything under the sun, but the question is, will Congress pass it? Maybe he does need to speak to policy more in his stump speeches. But his website gives a treasure trove of policy specifics in his Blueprint for Change.

I think Obama has shown himself to be an imperfect candidate in a lot of ways. I think he knows he could have done things better concerning the issues that raise legitimate doubts about him. But he's resilient and I think he's learned from them. That's what we need in a president. Someone who can learn from mistakes instead of one who blusteringly forges on in mistakes.

Edwards to Endorse Obama!

Omg! This is big! I still have some questions that I plan to answer about my boy, but really quickly, I had to post about this . . . this is AWESOME.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/05/14/obama-to-make-major-announcement/

See for yourself.

Turtle

This is the 2nd Sunday in a row that I've cried on the way to church.

A day or so ago, I saw a turtle crawling in the road. My apartment complex has a few man-made "lakes" around it, and it's near a park with bigger lakes where turtles abound. I guess one made its way over. It was a huge, slow turtle. I was astonished to see it, and very easily swerved around it as I passed it on my way out of the complex.

This morning, on my way to church, I saw the turtle smashed in the road. I became so angry that I cried. Not because I'm a covert member of PETA, but because that was pure carelessness. I could understand a dead squirrel. Those things move fast and often dart out into the street. It's easy to hit a squirrel. But a huge, slow moving turtle? That was just callous disregard. Probably someone on their cell phone or whatever, enveloped in their world, who couldn't care less about some slow-moving reptile. What's a dead turtle to them?

My Poor Little Baby

My poor blog baby has felt the sting of neglect. "Update me! Update me!" it's been crying out. But I haven't heeded its cries for help. Until now.

1. I'm still going to answer some Barack Obama questions. I haven't forgotten.

2. I did graduation stuff with some friends this weekend, and now I'm dog tired. Hopefully it'll be me getting my Master's next year.

3. I have been silent on any relational dealings because this blog has proven itself to be the stinking window to my soul, and I can't afford to put myself out there in a significant way concerning these matters anymore. But I realize that by even saying this, I have already shown my hand, in a manner of speaking. Transparency is not all it's cracked up to be. Sort of. All I can say is that I am getting to know this guy. That will be the only update that will ever be given unless something radically and irrevocably changes concerning, simply, getting to know this guy.

4. I almost forgot that tomorrow is Mother's Day! Wow. I need more sleep. And writing this post is not helping me achieve that . . .

I almost . . .

lost my patience with the kids today! I don't know what is going on. I feel awful because I've never felt that way before. It seemed like no matter what bothersome things they did, I always had reserves of patience. But today they almost ran dry.

I'm not high strung. I never yell. I never expect them to sit like little perfect robots and follow my every instruction. They're kids. I fully expect them to act like kids. I've always been able to handle it and even have fun with their kiddiness. But I don't know what's going on. Today, I wished I had a magic mute button. I think I'm just tired, and I think spring fever is in full force.

And in a little while, this parent at the middle school wants to have a conference with ALL of his kid's teachers. (Sigh.) We're going to be all crammed in the principal's office . . . yeah, totally not looking forward to it. Oh, well.

The Empire Strikes Barack

This is SO funny.

Go, Michelle!

I was a little disheartened about what's been going on lately with my boy Barack's campaign. I don't need to go into it . . . Rev. Wright's self-aggrandizing tour hasn't been helpful. We'll just put it that way.

But future first lady Michelle Obama . . . awww, shucks! Stand by yo' man, gul. Stand by yo' man! She can definitely hold her own. Thank you, Michelle, for putting it in the media's face that it's time to move on. Repeatedly rehashing Rev. Wright ain't gonna lower gas prices, help the economy, give job security, ensure that people have decent health care or allow kids to get a decent education. Observe these recent interviews and news clips. Oh, I can SO see her as first lady.

Here's one with Michelle and Caroline Kennedy:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/04/30/michelle.obama.interview/index.html?eref=rss_topstories#cnnSTCVideo

Here's another with Michelle and Barack with additional commentary by Eugene Robinson:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GBRZQT7DIFw