I know this. Like, I really believe it.
So . . . I got a
double dose of bummer last week. I didn't want to specify what they were because I was . . . bummed about them. But today, well, let's say that "God has something better" when He closes a door is not mere cliche.
I mentioned the
Cuba program in
previous posts. Suffice it to say, in the end, last week, I got a letter that I wasn't chosen as the program assistant. Hence, part one of bummery.
It was just perfect for me. It was. I would have had the chance to finally go somewhere outside of Western Europe, and visit a country about which I've done previous research. I was a strong candidate because of my research interests, my previous experience managing students, specifically in living situations (teacher and instructor at a variety of levels, Resident Assistant) and my previous experience in study abroad programs. But it wasn't to be.
Until I got a call today from one of my professors who wrote me a letter of recommendation for the program telling me that she spoke with the program director. She felt that I was a very strong candidate and didn't feel that the selection process was entirely fair. Without any prompting on my part at all, she determined to at least bring it up with the director to see if there were any other options or opportunities available for me with the program even though I wasn't chosen as the assistant. In the end, it was decided that if I am able to get additional funding from other sources, the program will take care of my room and board as well as securing a research visa! It's highly likely that I could secure funding for my ticket to and from Cuba and any additional travel through a particular travel grant for which I would have seniority because of my participation in the Latin American and Caribbean Studies Institute certificate program. They are literally begging people to apply for these travel grants so that they don't lose funding. Other funding could possibly come from certain research grants available to graduate students through a University sponsored center. So, it's not a sure thing, but it seems very possible that I could pull it off.
The reason it would be "better" this way is because I could go with the support of the program, but I would be free of the obligation to (let's be real) babysit undergrads and would have the time to devote to research. Another reason is that if I am able to secure research and travel grants for an overseas research project, it would look awesome on my CV.
There's also the question of bummer #2, which was not getting accepted to present at a conference in Texas. There is another conference going on during the same time at a university much closer to home which I still have time to apply for. I'm going to go for it, and if I am accepted to this one, I'll go with expectation, hoping to uncover some "better" reason for that as well. I don't mean to overspiritualize anything, but who knows?
Here's the thing: It always sucks when things don't work out the way you hoped they would. No matter what it is, it hurts. It's disappointing. But in the end, I just have to make up my mind to believe that God truly does have my best interests at heart. He really does have my back. What's really great about these "better" possibilities is that they have built my faith. If God can use a disappointment to make way for a greater opportunity concerning going to Cuba or going to an academic conference, He can do it concerning other areas of my life as well.
In sum, I have absolutely nothing to worry about. God cares about what I care about. He will supply my needs and He will give me the desires of my heart. I am going to be just fine. And I can't wait to find out what else He has in store.
