My son is two months old today. As I write, he's asleep in his swing. For now.
A lot of people comment on how handsome he is, and who am I to disagree? He's got a head full of dark hair, kissable chunky cheeks, almond-shaped eyes, long lashes, cupid's bow lips, a cleft in his little chin, and now that he's starting to smile, I see that he's inherited his dad's dimples. But...(sigh) there's always a but. There's a part of me that wonders if everyone's obsessed with his looks and his "beauty" because he's biracial. Never heard of the whole "mixed kids are always the most beautiful" stereotype? Read this. Anyway, there's no way to know, and I guess at the end of the day, I'd do well not to expend precious mental energy wondering what problematic thoughts are going on in other people's heads.
These are the names we have for him: Buddies, Buds, Milkmouth (you can see traces of milk in his mouth if I've just nursed him and he starts crying), Triangle Mouth (his mouth is legit shaped like a triangle when he's asleep and it's hanging open) Bobblehead (neck muscles still developing), Cutie Guy, Honeybuns, Poopy (when he has a dirty diaper), Bouncy Boy (when I bounce him on the birthing ball to soothe him). He sounds like a piglet when he cries. He does this snorting thing that is hilarious and adorable. He's starting to coo now and sometimes if you make a cooing noise at him, he'll do it back to you.
In addition to "sleeping when the baby sleeps," I'm supposed to "enjoy this time because they grow up so fast." He's definitely growing up fast. He's just about too big for newborn sized diapers and clothes. Bring on the size 1 diapers (not before we use up the rest of the newborns, tho) and the 0-3 months clothes.
The Great Daycare Search is on. I keep having these imaginary dialogues in my head with a stay-at-home mom who, when she finds out I'm placing my son in daycare, says, "Oh, I couldn't imagine letting someone else raise my child." I'd respond with, "Are you planning to send your child to school when he's of age?" and then she'd say she was. And then I'd say, "So, sending your child to daycare is 'letting someone else raise them' but sending them to school isn't?" I haven't yet figured out my response to the hypothetical stay-at-home mom who's homeschooling. I don't want to put my son in daycare. It's not something I'm looking forward to. I'm enjoying the time I get to spend with him while I'm on maternity leave. But to be honest, I don't know if I'd want to be a stay-at-home mom, either. If I get too wrapped up in my ambivalent feelings about being a professional woman who's now a mom, my mind can take me down some pretty dark roads. I just have to believe that God is going to continue to take care of our family.
