I can't let this baby go.

This blog is like, my baby. I began it almost 15 years ago, and have updated it pretty regularly ever since. My first entry was in 2005...I was on the cusp of graduating from undergrad. I talk about graduation, breaking up with my first boyfriend, starting my first job, moving into my first apartment, quitting my first job and going back to school, moving into my second apartment, graduating with a Master's degree, travels to Spain, travels to France, moving back in with my parents, working again and quitting again, going back to school for a doctorate, moving into my third apartment, learning to play the guitar, travels to Cuba, falling head over heels for a fellow grad student hottie 5 years my junior, getting engaged to the guy, marrying the guy, graduating with my PhD, getting my current job as a university professor, moving to another state, moving into a house, getting pregnant, moving again into an apartment attached to a bigger house, having a baby, trying to keep up with a toddler...that was legit an abridged version of 15 years of life. I started it when I was in my early twenties, and here I am now, looking down the barrel of 40. Almost. Not quite.

I can't let this baby go. I can't just abandon her. 

I feel like all of my now once-a-month posts are just "Look at my kid. I'm busy at work." I don't have the energy or the time to do the creative, introspective musings I used to do. Have I lost my creative spark? Is it that I feel my stuff isn't exciting anymore because it just revolves around career and parenthood? I feel like I used to be more fun. Like, things were more interesting and unpredictable. None of this single girl meets postmodern world coffeehouse musing stuff. No more rants. No more crushes (other than, currently, Idris Elba. You're welcome.) No more sternly worded letters to old disgusting dudes who had the audacity to try to holler at me. No more excitement or expectation about the path my life would follow. Well, that's not to say I don't have anything to look forward to. I do. I'm just saying, the major things have more or less been settled. If the good Lord wills it, maybe one day I'll write about another baby or buying our first home. But that's not as fun and quirky as the other stuff.

Maybe I should just face up to the fact that I'm a boring, tired, almost 40 year old. That just does not sound interesting at all. Like, nobody wants to read that (I mean, at this point in time, nobody really does anyway) and I certainly don't want to write it. I mean, nearly all of my posts nowadays have to do with the fact that I rarely post. Sigh.

But there's just something, a still small voice whispering to me. Don't give me up. Don't let me go.

Maybe I should sing this song to my blog: