Familiarity Breeds Contempt

Someone mentioned that familiar saying in reference to this blog.

At first, I was a little defensive and annoyed because blogging is a fun little creative outlet that I enjoy, and implying that my blogging would cause others to view me in a contemptuous light elicted nothing but a huge mental 'whatever' from me. At first. Then, I listened to what they were saying (a genius idea when someone is trying to make a point) and seriously considered the merit of the point they were trying to make.

What do people mean when they say "Familiarity breeds contempt"? Basically, that the more you know about someone, the less respect you have for them because you are overexposed to them; more specifically, you are more likely to find fault with them and more likely to notice their flaws.

Though I try to not to reveal identifying details about my life and that of others who wind their way into my life's narrative, I must admit that I do reveal a lot about myself emotionally—my feelings, my thoughts, my likes and dislikes, my hopes, my fears, my experiences, my views. One could learn about me quickly and easily via my blog what would take time and effort for one to learn about me the old fashioned way. And that makes me wonder if the ease of access to personal details that characterize some blogs combined with the ubiquity of the Internet that allows them to exist allow not only an effortlessly gained hyper-familiarity, but also produce a contempt and lack of respect (or rather, less respect than would be otherwise had) due to that hyper-familiarity.

We call people who physically expose themselves to strangers exhibitionists. (We also consider them sickos and would never hope to be unwitting witnesses.) But what about people who emotionally expose themselves to strangers? Would we call them emotional exhibitionists? No? Oh . . . bloggers. At least the Where-You-Can-Find-Me-ish type.

The allure of blogging comes from having a built-in, overwhelmingly (most of the time) sympathetic audience. Having a bad day? There are people out there who feel your pain. Relationship woes? There are people out there who experienced the same thing. Wondering what would be best? There are people out there willing to lend you $0.02. Embarking on an adventure? There are people out there who want to virtually experience it with you.

I don't see anything harmful about any of that. At best, it's therapeutic, at worst, it's self-important. But my misgivings have to do not simply with people knowing about me, but because of that knowledge, in the long run, affecting people's esteem of me. And not only that, but also making it too easy to know about me without truly getting to know me.

I'm not saying I want to stop blogging altogether. But I've really been challenged to reevaluate the effects and consequences of it.