Blahst!

I spelled it that way because that's the only way it should be said. With upraised fist and perturbed British accent.

Let's cut to the chase, shall we? I lost and/or got my wallet stolen. I had everything in that bad boy, too. My French and American life wrapped in one was up in there. (Least I still have my passport.)

I mean, I always keep it either in my coat pocket or in my backpack. Either it fell out of my pocket or backpack or someone swiped it at one of the busy intersections I crossed on the way back home.

Surprisingly, I'm not flipping out. Granted, I'm not saying I didn't berate myself out loud while looking for it in vain (I do that whenever I lose something). But once I ran back to the cafe where I thought I left it and asked the waiters about it and turned up bupkis, I came back home and got down to business. You should've heard me trying to get my French debit card blocked over the phone, though. If someone could have recorded it and posted it on YouTube, it totally would have gone viral.

Anyway, it's fine, I did what I had to do to make sure no one could access my accounts if it were indeed stolen, and tomorrow morning my host counselor and I are going to the police station to file a report. The word for 'wallet' in French has been burned into my memory: le portefeuille.

It's annoying, it's a hassle, but as they say, c'est la vie.