This Is What I Wish . . .

Oh, boy. Brace yourselves. If this post were a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, let's just say a lot of peanut butter and jelly may come squishing out of the sides once you bite down on it.

I wish someone would work for me. Jacob style (Gen. 29:20). Someone that wouldn't give up even if something sucky happened (like Jacob getting the switch flipped on him a la Gen. 29:21-28).

I guess I can be kind of too much for folks. It's not that I'm mean and demanding or anything. Actually, I'm pretty nice. I'm generally conciliatory and willing to give most decent guys a chance. But I think some combination of the following usually ends up happening (that is, if I haven't already abandoned ship or not even allowed the ship to dock in the first place):

1. Aw, she's a nice girl. Got a good head on her shoulders and all of that.

2. Uh, oh. She freaks out a little too easily for my taste. Will she just relax?

3. Oh, great. She's crying profusely over something like this? Yikes.

4. Hmm. She's kind of particular about stuff . . . Who does she think she is?

5. Ouch. That really deflated my ego. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

6. (Sigh.) And now she can't make up her mind. Why did I even bother?

It's enough to make some guys say "deuces" and call it a day.

I need someone to work through my idiosyncrasies, indecisiveness, contradictions, emotional nature and overblown expectations (think: Rugby player vs. Bird watcher). Someone who is willing to take abuse from my dad (because, let's face it, even though I'm almost looking 30 in the eye, only daughters aren't easily given up). Someone who knows what he wants (think: Signing the check for a down payment vs. Window shopping). Someone who's got his stuff together (think: Teacher who already has lesson plan done and copies made in plenty of time vs. Teacher who is fumbling around trying to find some activities to do and class is in 5 minutes). Someone who isn't intimidated by me (think: Asking to speak to the manager vs. Pulling two hairs out of your tacos, shrugging, and commencing to eat them). Someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to win me.

My grad school buddies would probably think that last sentence sounds medieval. People who don't know me well may think it sounds rather haughty. But I'm just being for real. I need a brave, persistent dude.