Desaparecido

During the 70s in Argentina and other countries in the Southern Cone, state-sponsored terrorism produced a group of people who suddenly, were “desaparecido.”  Disappeared.  Some of the people taken into custody were anti-government militants fighting against state repression, others simply held views of the opposition or were just suspected of having anti-government ties.  Some were even children, babies, who were kidnapped and either never seen again or even raised by those who had victimized others.  People who were kidnapped were interrogated, tortured and killed. 

Last semester, I took a Southern Cone course, and near the end the semester, we watched a movie called Garage Olimpo, which was based on one of the most notorious clandestine detention and torture centers.  Yesterday, I had the chance to meet one of the men who survived that center and many others.  In fact, one of the characters in the movie, a man forced to repair an instrument of torture, was based upon this real-life man’s experience. 

Some people would say Mario Villani was fortunate because most people were killed shortly after being taken into custody.  The main reason he was able to survive was because, as he had training in engineering, he was skilled in repairing electronics and he proved useful.

Just the thought that this man lived through all I had read and all I had seen in movies brought tears to my eyes.  It was just unbelievable.   I cannot even begin to explain how it made me feel. He questioned how far he should go in “helping” the torturers, he questioned whether there were really any side, he questioned why he survived.  I can’t even begin to understand the mental, aside from the physical anguish.

Here’s what he said that really got me though, he said that he believed that there was really no black and white.  That everyone, victimizers and victims, were in a sort of gray area.  He said what he realized through his experience that the same force that would motivate someone to torture another human being was in him as well.  That it's in all of us.  

When I went up to get my book signed, unable to hold back tears, I told him thank you for sharing his experiences.  He wrote: Para Chantell, con la esperanza de seguir compartiendo.  With the hope of continuing to share.