Letters From My Friend: Response to Molluskophobia

Dearest K,

I'm no expert, to be sure, but I'm willing to bet part of what allows you to cope with your phobia is the idea of empowerment. Sure. When you have that cylindrical container of salt at your disposal, you are empowered. Mollusks have no hold on you. You can tell them mollusks that the devil is a liya when you get your salt on. Even the thug slugs.

The same can be said of the feeling I get when I'm in my taekwondo class. Though I have no specific phobias, I will admit that at times I feel intimidated. I do. I feel intimidated as a young, slight female. I feel like the violators and predators of the world would pick me out of a crowd as an easy target. But not so. Not when I can execute deadly knife hand strikes. And I know a few one-step sparring moves now, too? Aww, shucks.

But talking about feeling empowered due to my taekwondo class was only a segue into what I really want to talk about. And that is my instructor. Tonight, I had a private lesson. Hee, hee. It appears that people have better things to do on a Friday night than go to a 6:30 karate class . . . except for me. I could have had a private lesson last Friday night, too, but the thought of me alone with Mr. Kim (not his real name) was too much to bear. There would have been no one else to hide behind, to mask my foibles and lack of coordination. But tonight, I was up to the titillating challenge. Just me and Mr. Kim.

He stretched me out to my limit. Really, I felt muscles I didn't know I had. I practiced fake beating him up with crescent kicks and punches. I jumped rope 115 times in a minute. I did 10 real push-ups and 15 sit ups. I discovered that he was 24. He couldn't believe I was 27. Heh, heh. And I told him kam-sa-ham-ni-dah when I left. That's Korean for "thank you." He seemed impressed. (sigh.)

May you continue to kill slugs with impunity and relish with your all-powerful salt. And I will continue to garner the skills to do much damage to any wannabe adversaries (while nursing a slight instructorial crush). Together, we will perpetuate empowerment until the end of our days.

Yours,

Chantell