A good thing about being Pentecostal is that emotional responses to God are the norm and even encouraged. Granted, as with most things taken to the extreme, it can also be negative because people can get addicted to responding emotionally without responding with a commitment to Him. Nevertheless, sometimes all you need is an emotional release. A time and space to completely empty yourself. To let go of all the pent up frustration and anger and loneliness. A catharsis. A cleansing. To be allowed to break down into your most basic substance and allow God to do with it what He will.
I'm glad that I'm in a place where I feel the freedom to be completely open with God and with my feelings and that I can publicly and unashamedly lay everything out before Him. That I can get completely, for lack of a better word, ugly before Him without restraint or regret.
Last night was one of those services. No preaching. Just praying. Just opening up to Him.
Before I knew it, I found myself doubled over, screaming over and over again. I know this may sound kind of hard core and odd to people who have never had an experience like this, but I feel compelled to share it. I found myself on the floor, broken, unable to form intelligible words yet still communicating to Him to take it all. Because I'm so weary of trying to do it myself. Because I wasn't meant to do it by myself or for myself.
The world hasn't changed. Negative situations haven't become miraculously undone. But I know that He heard me.
In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me (Psalm 120:1).
4 comments:
Reassurance of His Love is the most awesomest thing in life. Sounds like a beautiful time in his presence.
k
Amen! Beautiful; thanks for sharing!
We had one of those types of services last week. You are soooo right, it feels so good to be able to just be completely real with Him and let Him be completely real to us!
Glad you were able to get the break through that you needed. **SMILE**
Thank you...I needed that so much...S
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