The Case of the Anonymous Flowers

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Our protagonist walks into the all-female freshman dorm where she's an RA after a long day of student teaching. As she breezes past the front desk on her way to check her box, she notices a fresh arrangement of flowers, yearning to be picked up and admired by some lucky girl. "I wish someone would send me flowers," she says to herself. Someone other than my parents, she adds mentally. On her way to the elevator, some fellow RAs at the desk alert her that the flowers are indeed hers!

"Chantell you got flowers! Who are they from, who are they from?" They demand.

"They're probably from my parents saying 'good job' or something." She opens the card: "Happy Belated Birthday." She is shocked, however, when she flips the card over and finds only "no name" written at the bottom. Who in the world? Probably one of my crazy friends trying to make me think I have a secret admirer. "Well, it says 'Happy Belated Birthday,' but whoever sent it didn't leave their name."

"Ooh, a secret admirer!" they coo.

"Psshh, whatever . . . I seriously doubt it. But I will get to the bottom of this."

"Tell us when you find out who it is!" they call after her as she punches in the elevator code. Thoughts and doubts and possibilities whirl in her mind as she ascends to the 7th floor. It couldn't be my parents. Why would they send me something that says "Happy Belated Birthday"? We did birthday stuff when I was home. She gets off of the elevator, flowers in tow, and makes a beeline for her room. She immediately calls her brother. She relates to him the situation.

"So do you know who did this? Did Mom or Dad? Did you?"

"Uhh, it wasn't me. And I doubt Mom or Dad did. Happy Belated Birthday?"

"I know. Well, I think it might be Suspect 1*. Has he said anything to you about it, do you have any idea?"

"I don't know whether it was Suspect 1. He didn't say anything to me about it." After she makes him promise that he had absolutely no clue, she calls the house. Her father answers.

"Dad, guess what happened." She tells him. "So, did you or Mom do it?"

"No, it wasn't me, and I doubt your mother did it. Happy Belated Birthday? We did birthday stuff when you were here."

"I know, Dad, I know. But you know what, I think it might be Suspect 1, but I'm not entirely sure--"

"Could it be Suspect 2*?" She sighs. Suspect 2.

"Well, I'll admit that maybe a little part of me wishes it were Suspect 2, but I doubt it. Nah . . . he wouldn't do that."

"Well, when you find out, let me know." Who could it be? The suspense is driving me up a wall! She calls one of her crazy friends, determined to find out, and ends up leaving a voicemail message. She even calls someone really close to Suspect 1, but he only conveyed his doubts:

"I haven't even talked to Suspect 1 since we've been back, but I really doubt it's him . . . it's not his style. And anyway, I think he's sort of been broke lately. I don't think it's him."

She's beginning to get desperate. The uncertainty of not knowing who sent the flowers is starting to cloud over her pleasure in getting them in the first place. "If he didn't send them, who else could it be?"

"Probably Suspect 2," he retorts in a "duh" tone of voice.

"No, it can't be Suspect 2. He's very cautious. He'd be afraid I'd take it the wrong way . . . it just can't be him."

"Well, it isn't me."

"Are you absolutely sure it isn't Suspect 1? I mean--"

"Why don't you call him to find out for sure?" he says, a bit exasperatedly.

They hang up and she calls Suspect 1's house. No one answers, so she leaves a message: "Um, this is Chantell. (sigh). I'm calling to, um, find something out, so if anyone gets this message can you please give me a call back? Thanks." Click. Who could it be? Who could it be? The person I thought it was seems to be ruled out . . . wait a minute, wait a minute. A light illumines her brain. Suspect 3*! I'll bet you it's him. Why didn't I think of him in the first place? She calls Suspect 3, and he doesn't answer so she leaves him a message. "Hey, Suspect 3, it's Chantell. Someone sent me anonymous flowers that say 'Happy Belated Birthday' on the card, and I'm desperate to find out who did it. Call me back when you get the chance." Click. A little while later, she gets a call back from Suspect 3.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Suspect 3! Hey, okay, this is what happened . . . " and she goes on to tell him the whole rigamarole of getting the flowers, who she thought sent them, and who she slightly hoped it was, but doubted. Finally she asks, "So, was it you?"

"What kind of flowers are they?"

"Oh, they're friendly flowers. White and yellow daisies, purplish-pink carnations, violet snapdragon looking flowers. They're really nice."

"Well, I kind of had to leave it up to the florist. See, I wanted to get you something else, but they didn't have it, so I just told them, 'She's just a friend, so make sure they're really friendly-like, you know, don't go overboard.'"

She laughs embarrassedly. She wishes she hadn't told him the whole preamble of who she thought it was, who she slightly wanted it to be, etc. "Oh my gosh, it was you! I should have known . . . why didn't I think of you first? I'm telling you man, that whole anonymous deal was driving me absolutely insane!"

"I know," he laughs. "That's why I did it."