King James Pep Talk with a Kirk Franklin Back Up

When I wake up in the morning and my brain is like, "Nooo.  I can't do it.  What am I gonna do?  Oh, nooo.  I'm inadequate, I'm incapable, I don't know what I'm doing," it's time for a King James pep talk.

The good thing about these pep talks is that it's from the Bible.  The other good thing about these pep talks is that a Kirk Franklin-esque hype man kind of voice inserts itself in there to back up the King James voice in a smooth, borderline sexy way.  For example:

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
That's right, girl. Don't say you can't do it.  Jesus got yo' back, girl.  You can do all things through Him. Hold yo' head up girl, can't nothin' hold you down.


Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
You hear that, girl?  You betta cast down them imaginations.  All that stuff about "I can't" and "I'm inadequate" and "I'm incapable."  You know that ain't true.  And if it ain't true, it ain't of God, honey.


But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.
God knows where you at, girl.  You ain't alone.  Keep on keepin' on, girl and you gonna come forth as gold.  Sho' will.


And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
It doesn't say SOME things, does it, girl?  It says ALL things, baby.  If you love God and if you are called according to His purpose, what you got to worry about, honey?  God's got this thing, believe that.


I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
You ain't in this thing by yourself, girl.  God ain't gonna leave you hangin.  That's a promise on everything.


Then I shake it off, pop out of bed, and get on with my day.