When you go solo, you are an unattached free agent. You call the shots. When you arrive, how long you stay, when you leave, who you talk to. You can weave in and out, unobligated.
It's just that the last few weddings I've been to, I've been in, so this whole "being accompanied" or not as a guest at a wedding is, surprisingly, a new concept for me.
Going to social events alone is something that I'm becoming more and more comfortable with. What I realize is that I'm an attractive person. I realize that sounds so conceited out of context. I'm not saying that I think I'm hot. I'm saying that I realize I have a lot of attractive qualities as a person. When you realize you have attractive qualities, it makes you a confident person. And when you are a confident person, it makes you feel comfortable enough with yourself to approach people, and it makes other people comfortable enough to approach you.
I wish I would have believed these things about myself more firmly a long time ago. It would have saved me a lot of heartache.
I'm glad that the 30s panic never set in. The prospect of the panic caused more anxiety than the panic itself. Now that I'm here, and now that it's a settled fact, and that I can still wake up, look in the mirror, smile, and feel a glow, I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, I got this.
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