Weddington McMarriage

I am on a non-stop, high-speed train to Weddington McMarriage.

This thing is going down.  We ordered our invitations this weekend, and when we hit "submit order" to purchase 150 invitations/envelopes/address labels, I had a "no turning back" moment.  You ain't playin' no games.  Dis yo' man fo' real. 

Right?  Like, there was a date and a time on there.

Breathe.  Not like I'm thinking of "turning back" or that I've ever thought of it since he slipped that ring on my finger.  Nawl.  All I'm saying is like, it's really happening.  I mean, when we first got engaged, I was all like, we have time to decide this and that and we'll think about it later, and now that January is all like, "I'm heeeeeree!" it's been like, BAM!  Wedding red alert.  Wedding date has been like, "Ey! You know I'm comin' up, right? You hear me, girl?"  I mean, seriously, when we got engaged in June, we had literally a year to get it together.  Now we have four months.  Like, whaaaattt??

Why is it still so difficult for me to conceive of myself as married?  This is something I've wanted for the longest, and now that it's no joke, T-minus four months till marriage launch, my brain is still like, "Yeah, so, I'm getting married soon, and....WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???"

Snickery McSarcasm: It means you're going to be sharing a minuscule apartment and a single bathroom with a dude.

Idealista McSwooney: It means you're going to wake up next to the love of your life every morning.

Obsessy McHyper: It means you're going to have arguments and money problems and have to balance career and school and family and church and you're going to have to get used to a bunch of stuff you're not used to because you've lived on your own for so long and omigawd how is it all going to come together?

Realizzy McStraightup: It means you're going to be married.  Please, like you're the first person in the world to ever tie the knot. People have always done it, people are doing it now, and they will continue to do so till kingdom come.  Welcome to life.

Can I be a meanie and rant about things that annoy me?

Meanie Me: Is it mean that when people ask me "How's the wedding planning going?" it slightly bothers me?  I know that it is a benign question just meant to make small talk and convey interest and perhaps even well-wishes, so I just smile and give a perky, vague update.  But the little wave of irritation that flows through me when people ask that is akin to the slight wave of irritation that would flow through me when after spending several months abroad people would ask, "So, how was France?"  Like, ugh.  Like, in both cases, whatever I tell you is just a surface answer because that's all you really want to hear.  Akin to how I feel when people ask, "So, what do you plan to do with a PhD?"  Like, why do you care?  You don't even have a concept of what getting a PhD even means, so when I say, "Be a professor," you still don't get it.  Ugh, I'm so mean!  And please don't say anything about being/not being a Bridezilla.  It's so trite and played out and unclever and takes no imagination whatsoever to come up with.  "Are you feeling like a Bridezilla yet?"  Oh, har, har, har.  Gosh, I'm such a meanie.

Anyway.  Here's something that I kinda want.  It's not a Bridezilla want, since we're on the topic.  I want a horse and carriage exit.  It can so be done, and if it's a little pricier than what we have room for in our budget, I think I have a little ace in the hole to make it happen.  I mean, with my whole medieval/Renaissance dress thing going on, it being kind of a rustic, outdoor deal, and besides, it's unique and sweet and fairy tale-like.  Sigh.  We'll see.