Dates

No . . . not the kind of dates a single gal like me would (like to) go on.  lol. Dates, as in calendar days set in stone.  For comps.

(Sigh.)  I'm supposed to be reading poetry right now in preparation for said comps whose dates are dangerously near.  But in a way, it's comforting because it's like, okay, I have these concrete little markers fixed in time that will come and come to pass, ready or not.  I hope it's the former.

I need to be more settled, more grounded, more focused.  It's not to say that I'm not at all.  But there's something about setting the dates that has made me feel less anxious.

Okay, there's some other stuff I need to suss out (with full awareness of the possible land mine this blog can be.  I write with the 90% surety that no inappropriate eyes are reading this, yet with the other 10% made up of not caring whether said inappropriate eyes were to read it).

1. Just when I get to the point of "being done," phone calls out of the blue.  Is it a coincidence?  A recognizance of the shift in my regard?  Is it a switch flipping and a final realization that things really are never going back to the way they were?  Is it believing that a "crisis" is the only justifiable way to communicate with me? Regardless, let me say this: I am SO glad those curled up in a fetal position in my fluffy pink robe, crying and trying to comfort myself with straight up Nutella because of this days are over.  And I'm not going back to them.  (I will, however, continue to eat straight up Nutella whenever I see fit.)

2. Something that has connected me with, er, "unlikely" others has been playing the guitar.  You may not connect with someone profoundly in any other way, but if you overlap in a creative arena, somehow things just jibe.  Nevertheless, I still find myself asking why.  I mean, I've always been a person who gets along with a wide cross-section of people, and it's great.  But I still wonder, like, how is it that some people that I never thought would be interested in a friendship with me somehow are?  I know that's silly.  I guess that feeling speaks more to preconceptions I have of other people than conceptions people may or may not have of me.  In short, I've recently found myself in the thick of a whirlwind guitarship.