It wasn't because . . .

I navigated the bus system like a pro today, or because I went to a student job fair and got some offers to teach test prep on the side, or because I went back to tear up another banh mi ga and ran into some colleagues and ended up having a lovely Spanish-speaking Vietnamese lunch, or because I had a fruitful meeting about my research project with my faculty mentor, or because I ran into a former colleague on the bus who was an instructor at Auburn the same time I was who is getting her doctorate in Education, or even because I went to church and was reminded that God and my brothers and sisters in Christ truly love me.

It was because I thought that since I was here, doing my thing, getting involved, establishing discipline and routine, it would go away. At least for a while. I thought making the right strokes on a clean slate would do it. But it will still take work. Faith and trust don't come easy for me. It takes constant effort and constantly deciding that I will turn it over to God and not try to take the reins myself. It takes waking up every day and choosing to believe that a God exists who has my best interests at heart.