Telling People

Today our baby is the size of a chocolate chip and I'm on an avocado toast kick.

I've already told a few people...more than I probably should have at this point.  It's just that I'm so excited and I love seeing people's reactions when I do.

Anyway, of course, we'll wait until the 12-week mark to make any kinds of general announcements, but I wonder if we'll make any kind of announcement at all (at least via social media) because my husband is kind of averse to it.  He feels like it would make it less special and personal.  Having a baby is a very intimate thing, and plastering it all over social media invites way too many people in on it.  And to an extent, I agree.

But there's also a part of me that wants people to know, you know what I'm saying?  And I guess part of my reasoning may be a little petty, I'll admit that.

It's just that for so long, I felt like many people (particularly church people) had sort of written me off.  For a while, I was 30+, still in school (I can't tell you how much it annoyed me when people would say that. "You're still in school?"), and no man in sight.  Egads!  I felt like this anomaly people pitied.  And while I'll admit that I did struggle with loneliness at times, I can honestly say I never regretted my choices.  Ever.  Not once did I ever think that I should have married fresh out of undergrad, started piling buns in the oven and lived out the rest of my days in my hometown going to Golden Corral after church every Sunday.  Nah.  Even though the very idea of a woman "having it all" is super problematic (I mean, no one ever asks if it's possible for a man to "have it all"), there's a part of me that feels like getting married and now having a baby on the way is kinda like IN YO FACE.  I can have it all.  I can be in school "forever," travel the world, get a couple of advanced degrees, have a career doing what I enjoy, marry a great guy (while still in school, at that) and have a baby.  Howbow dah?

And (this is extra petty)...I will also admit that part of my desire to tell certain people is so that certain other people will find out.  And when I say certain other people, I'm talking about a right-before-I-met-my-husband person.  Is it wrong to feel like I've won?  I got married and had a baby before you, son!  I beat you.  I am victorious.  I am the winner.  I won.  I said it was extra petty.

It's also kind of cute to be in social situations where a few people know but others don't, and so you're giving each other conspiratorial smiles and winks.  We were at a party last night in honor of one of my colleagues passing her mid-probationary review.  Someone who knew came up to us and whispered, "Secret congratulations."  He's a goofy guy to begin with, but him telling us that was just extra goofy and cute, cuz you know, he was part of the "insider" group who knew.

But here's what I'm not looking forward to: The more people find out, the more people will feel invited to give unsolicited advice, pass unsolicited judgment, and regale me with unsolicited horror stories.  And I suspect that will make me want to schlap folks in the face.

I wonder: What causes people to act the most crazy, weddings or babies?