Repondez, S'il Vous Plait

R.S.V.P.  A common abbreviation for the French repondez, s'il vous plait.  Often used within the context of event planning, a common courtesy asked of those invited to "respond," indicating to the event planner whether said invitee is attending.

Literally: Respond, if it pleases you.

Naturally: Respond, if you please.

Commonly: Respond, please.

Chantell-ly: For the love of God, let me know BEFORE the RSVP deadline whether you're coming to my wedding so that I can rent the right amount chairs and have the right amount of food.  I certainly don't want to be short of chairs, space or food, but neither do I want to spend more than I actually need to on chairs, space or food.

So, the RSVP deadline was April 15.  And, yes, I am about to get Bridezilly and ranty because this junk gets on my nerves.

To be fair, I get it.  My wedding is not the center of the universe, and people have lives and people get busy and people forget.  The RSVP deadline was on April 15, after all.  I'm sure folks who were waiting till the last minute, as we all so often do, were more concerned about how much they might get back from Uncle Sam than whether there'd be enough salmon pinwheels for them to snack on after my ceremony.  I get it.  I do.

For example, a professor of ours who was invited desired to come, but when she tried to register herself and her guest via our website and found she couldn't because it was the day of the deadline, she let us know and we gladly added her.  That, I get.  A mentor of mine who has assured me she was coming, told me about the dress she bought for it and told me about the tie she bought for her son did not RSVP personally on the website, but since I knew she was coming, I registered her and her family myself.  That, I also get.

This is what I don't get: People who have said BUPKIS to me, not via text, not via email, not via FB message, not via any means of communication and then when my dear mother (bless her heart) emails you (subject line: "Failure to RSVP") to verify, you respond, "Yes, we're planning on attending."  WHAT?  Who is "we"?  How many of you are "we"? When were you planning to let anybody know? Vague as heck after-the-fact responders.  This is what I don't get: People who have RSVPed as soon as the invitation hit your mailbox, then you found out later that you and your guest(s) wouldn't be able to make it after all, but you say BUPKIS to me and just mention it to my mom in passing.  NOT COOL.  Here's what else I don't get: People who told me to my face you wouldn't be able to make it all apologetic, then a couple of days after the RSVP deadline, you just happen to run into my parents talking about some, "Oh, we're going to make it after all!" NAWL.

I love my people.  I love my family.  I love my church family.  I love my friends.  I love y'all.  For real.  I want you to come to my wedding.  I do.  If I didn't want you to come, I wouldn't have invited you.  But folks out here in these streets treating my wedding like a potluck at Ebenezer Baptist Church somewhere your grandmama and auntie go to every 5th Sunday.  No, ma'am.  I say no to this.  I say seet yo'self down to this.  I say all the nawls to this.  I rebuke the spirit of repondez s'il vous plait negligence in Jaysus name!  Just let a sista know.  That's all I ask.  Let a sista know.  And not the day of.

It just frustrates me that people do not get what all goes into planning a wedding.  People don't have a concept of what it means to be less than a month away from The Big Day and needing to turn in final numbers to your caterers and rental places.  People can't grasp the fact that we're also doing 1 million other things and part of the reason we set the RSVPs up the way we did is so that we didn't have to keep track of who said they were coming and who didn't and whose cousin can't make it and all of that rigmarole because WE DON'T HAVE TIME.  Both of us are planning a wedding smack dab in the middle of PhD programs at the end of the semester.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  Nobody understands that.

But one day they or one of their kids will have to plan a wedding, too...then it'll dawn on them.  But I get that too.  Some things you can't understand until you are staring it dead in the face.