Did I Think I'd Ever...?

I always pester my fiancé with questions which begin with "did you think you'd ever" which have something to do with me and/or his life after having met me.

Did you think anyone would ever refer to you as "my baby daddy"?  Did you think you'd ever sing gospel music in a church choir?  Did you think you'd ever marry a girl whose hair could transform into an afro?

There's a certain way I say "mmhmm."  Like it's a faux disbelieving "mmhmm" that supposedly suspects something.  For example, if I'm with my fiancé and he waves at some girl I don't know and he turns to me and says, "She's in my class," I might playfully say, "Mmhmm."  Today he did it to me.  We were at the library and I saw this Brazilian guy who's been accompanying one of my students to class and I saw him and waved and said, "I keep seeing that guy everywhere."  And he was like, "Mmhmm." It was SO funny.  (He still can't say it like me, though.)

But that was just an aside.

There are things I never thought I'd ever be or do.  That's for sure.  Did I think I'd ever...

1. Get married in grad school?  No, I seriously never thought I would.  I hoped I would eventually get married at some point, but still, I was a hard core cynic.  I figured maybe I'd meet someone after I finished this program and got a job somewhere and started paying back my student loans.  I didn't think I'd meet anyone at my church (I ain't gonna say nothin, but I really didn't) and I definitely didn't think I'd meet anyone in my department.  Who knew that I'd meet someone in the department and bring him to church?

2. Become one of those people who let other relationships suffer because of a significant other?  Definitely not.  I never meant to be that person and I hope I'm not being that person now, but I know that I have been at certain points since I started spending time with my fiancé.  I used to think people who would allow long standing friendships and family relationships to fall by the wayside because of a hot new guy were the epitome of shallow and selfish.  How could someone do that?  How could friends and family who have always been there for you be so easily cast off?  I saw first hand how.  I experienced how easy it was to slide into a singular special world that consists of only you and that other person at the expense of others.  I try to be more aware of not doing that and make an effort to stay connected to other people I truly care about and who care about me.

3. Get picky and emotional over wedding stuff?  Nope.  I totally envisioned myself as being go-with-the-flow.  I've always been horrified at bridezilla stories of women being off the chain over ridiculous stuff.  I like to think of myself as easy going, not having strong preferences for things one way or the other.  But now I'm seeing myself devolve into a picky little whiner over certain things.  Ugh.  Girl, stop.

4. Become less motivated in school?  Nawl.  I have always prided myself on being a driven ubernerd who made academic things happen.  Yeah, I've always been a procrastinator of sorts, but I never thought I would languish in laziness as I feel like I have been doing concerning this dissertation.  I can't say I'm not making ANY progress, but I need to be making a lot more progress than I'm making now if I plan to graduate and get a job when I say I'm going to.  When I need to.  I never thought finally getting a man would suck the drive out of me.  And frankly, it's kind of embarrassing.  Even if it is "normal."

I have a feeling I'm going to be having a whole lot more of these "did I think I'd ever" moments...