This is something that I've been thinking about for a little while. Now, I know this is in no way original. It may even sound cliché. But even things that are cliché are based in truth. And that is a cliché.
What I want to say is that no matter what station of life you are in, you still have to deal with you.
I am super thrilled to be engaged. I super love my fiancé and can't wait to be his wife. But what I'm saying is that having a fiancé doesn't make me less me. Having a fiancé doesn't make me not get sad about things that the person I am has a tendency to get sad about. I'm still who I am. I am happy. I am grateful. I do cherish this very precious thing we share and that we've built together. But, at heart, I'm still the same person I was before I met him. Falling in love has definitely caused me to re-order a few priorities, but it hasn't caused me to undergo some kind of magical metamorphosis. I'm still me. And I still have myself to deal with.
The whole idea of myself being ultimately responsible for my own happiness is an idea that I finally began to grasp when I was still single and had absolutely no prospects on the horizon. Now that I'm soon to be married, that idea somehow hits home even more.
I do remember how I felt when I struggled with loneliness. It is a very real, palpable thing that should never be dismissed as a mere matter of perspective or mental fortitude. It can surface at the most unsuspecting and inconvenient times and manifests itself as a void that can be literally painful. I know. I remember. But what I wish that self knew was that once you're in a relationship, the terms change, but the ultimate responsibility doesn't.
In a relationship, you have help, so to speak. You have the comfort of knowing that you're on a team and that whatever comes, you won't have to face it alone. But you can never essentially shift the responsibility of maintaining your contentment with your life onto your partner. Not only is that unfair, it's simply impossible for one human being to meet all of another human being's needs.
My tendency to overanalyze, my tendency to give in to worry, and my tendency to indulge the melancholy strains of my personality are all things that I still have to deal with, that I have to come to terms with in my personal relationship with God.
There are things that the most handsome, wonderful, compatible, amazing person in the world cannot fix, alleviate or satisfy. You still have you.
What I want to say is that no matter what station of life you are in, you still have to deal with you.
I am super thrilled to be engaged. I super love my fiancé and can't wait to be his wife. But what I'm saying is that having a fiancé doesn't make me less me. Having a fiancé doesn't make me not get sad about things that the person I am has a tendency to get sad about. I'm still who I am. I am happy. I am grateful. I do cherish this very precious thing we share and that we've built together. But, at heart, I'm still the same person I was before I met him. Falling in love has definitely caused me to re-order a few priorities, but it hasn't caused me to undergo some kind of magical metamorphosis. I'm still me. And I still have myself to deal with.
The whole idea of myself being ultimately responsible for my own happiness is an idea that I finally began to grasp when I was still single and had absolutely no prospects on the horizon. Now that I'm soon to be married, that idea somehow hits home even more.
I do remember how I felt when I struggled with loneliness. It is a very real, palpable thing that should never be dismissed as a mere matter of perspective or mental fortitude. It can surface at the most unsuspecting and inconvenient times and manifests itself as a void that can be literally painful. I know. I remember. But what I wish that self knew was that once you're in a relationship, the terms change, but the ultimate responsibility doesn't.
In a relationship, you have help, so to speak. You have the comfort of knowing that you're on a team and that whatever comes, you won't have to face it alone. But you can never essentially shift the responsibility of maintaining your contentment with your life onto your partner. Not only is that unfair, it's simply impossible for one human being to meet all of another human being's needs.
My tendency to overanalyze, my tendency to give in to worry, and my tendency to indulge the melancholy strains of my personality are all things that I still have to deal with, that I have to come to terms with in my personal relationship with God.
There are things that the most handsome, wonderful, compatible, amazing person in the world cannot fix, alleviate or satisfy. You still have you.
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