I was wondering

how long it would take for me to get here this semester, but here we are.  Tonight is the first night.  My first procrastinatory late-nighter post of the semester (I don't do all-nighters, did I tell you?).  It seems like last year, my professors required mad response papers but this semester at least, the matters at hand are a boatload of reading, sprinklings of presentations, a few "process" items (outlines, bibliographies, rough drafts) and then the big mama final paper at the end.

"So, what do you want to do with your degree?"  "If you could do exactly what you wanted to do, what would it be?"  "What's your ideal, dream job?"  "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?" "Hispanic studies?  Do you have Hispanic in your background?  No?  Well, that's kind of odd."

These are questions coming from people at whom I smile tensely and fakely nicely.  You don't really want to know what I want to do, do you?  You just want to hear me try to justify why I'm spending the time and effort to get a PhD.  If I said I wanted to be a trash collector after all of this, what difference would it make to you?  And to the lady who told me it was "odd" for me to be interested in Hispanic Studies because I'm not Hispanic?  The concentration of sense you have in your brain is 0.00%.  Girl, bye.

And for those who are reading this and really want to know what it is I want to do, are you ready?  If I could  choose whatever it is that I wanted to do, do you really want to know what it would be?

Nothing.

Stop clutching your pearls.  If it were up to me, I would do nothing.  I would sleep in, lay around all day, eat Popeye's 3 wing combos with red beans and rice and watch episodes of The Mentalist and Scandal. But noooo . . . I have to contribute to society and pull myself up by my bootstraps and get out there and get my hands dirty and make a living and realize my full potential.  So, here I am.  Writing late night papers about Delmira Agustini, organizing student panels, submitting conference abstracts, applying to be a program assistant to Cuba, tutoring and presenting test prep stuff on the side . . . doing stuff.

But we all know what I do best.  It's what I'm doing right now.  Pro-crass-the-nation.