There are a couple of things I'd like to talk about, but I don't want to just scatter them all over in a sporadic list, I want to kind of essay them out.
Those Ladies Who Pull You Out
In the thick of a Spirit-filled service where everybody is getting their blessing: Women doubled over wailing, ecstatic rolls of speaking in tongues, hands upraised, long-skirted spins and stomps of joy. I've got the victory! In the midst of this divine cacophony, there is a doubter. Not a doubter as in, this isn't real, (though there are those), but one who hangs back. Who affirms with a leaden heart that an emotional response is as substantial as cotton candy. What matters, after all, is what happens when the shouting is over. What do you do, how do you behave, what do you tell yourself when the move is still? Why bother, when you know that your mind is going to meander down the same destructive path? "Getting the victory" is not jumping up and down while the organ wails. It's choosing each and every day not to believe the lies. It's a matter of overcoming inertia. It's a nearly stoic exercise of trudging forward. The doubter doesn't doubt the power of God, but herself. Which is indirectly doubting the power of God.
In the thick of this mentally justified hang-back: Spirit-emboldened ladies prodding, guiding this leaden heart out of the confines of plush conference seats. Lifting the arms from the elbows, a trembling hand between the shoulder blades, eyes squeezed tight, spiritual commands seasoned with King James English. Tears are never hard to come by for this doubter. Nostalgia washes over her rather than a lightning shock of "the victory." She knows that a lightning shock is what the ladies crave. This lightning shock would zap her back onto the bright path. No more sad days! The joy of the Lord is your strength!
Those ladies who pull you out aren't deterred by a possible rejection of their holy advances. They have faith that the doubter still believes in the same God they do. They are the faithful. They are the trusting. They are the believing. They are the hoping. And they care enough to do what they can to breathe that God-given hope back into a leaden heart.
1 comment:
I'm taking this for creative non-fiction...correct me if I'm wrong. You, too? I thought I was the only one this happened to.
This is as true as it comes: "'Getting the victory' is not jumping up and down while the organ wails. It's choosing each and every day not to believe the lies. It's a matter of overcoming inertia. It's a nearly stoic exercise of trudging forward."
Along with the ecstatic experiences, we need to do more in our churches to emphasize grace, that divine gift that makes the trudging forward possible when there is seemingly no spiritual ecstasy left.
Post a Comment