The Second Time Around

This is probably going to be the last time I blog before our second little buddy gets here. 

Long story short, I'm being admitted to the hospital tomorrow night and being induced on Monday moring. Everything's fine. It's just that I have high blood pressure, am on medication to control it, and one of the known side effects of the meds that it tends to make the baby small. So, hypertension + being on meds + small baby = we're gonna induce you. It's really not a big deal. Women get their labor induced for all kinds of reasons all the time. At first I was bummed because I wanted to be able to go into labor on my own, but it's for my health and the baby's health, and that's the most important thing. 

A bit of really good news...the hospital is going to make an exception for me and allow our doula to be present! It was not what I was expecting at all, and I truly praise God that something that really meant a lot to me is possible for this birth as well.

I feel like I haven't quite had time to process it all. We're in this weird netherworld of having everything prepared but still not quite feeling prepared. 

I also feel this inexplicable sadness over my two year old not being the only child anymore. We always planned to give him a sibling, but now that that reality is practically here, it's almost like I don't know how to feel about it. 

Even more inexplicably, I feel another type of sadness about this being our last child. Like, this is the last time in my life I will experience pregnancy and giving birth. I'm not saying that my husband and I aren't in agreement that two is enough for our family. We totally are. It's just the simple idea of something being the end of a certain season of your life.