Postpartum: "Your body will know"

Here I sit, with an apparatus attached to my mammary glands, extracting milk to build up a supply so that people other than me can feed our insatiably hungry little guy. Did you know breast milk can stay good for up to 6 months if frozen? And is this what dairy cows go through day in and day out? Should I moo in solidarity?

One of the things about the whole process of pregnancy, giving birth, and now being a mom is this idea of your body "knowing" things. That your body does things outside of your realm of knowledge, desire or control and that you just have to go with it. That's what I was told about being ready to push right before I delivered our son. "Your body will know when to push." And it was true.

On one hand, your body "knowing" is kind of wonderful. It's instinctual, primal, miraculous. My body knew when I was ready to push. When I felt the urge to push, it was along with my contractions, as if my conscious self and my knowing body worked together. My body knows how much milk to produce for my son. There's nothing I have to do to make sure he gets enough or to make sure he's getting the right nutrients. It just knows.

However, on the other hand, your body "knowing" also indicates that your body has a mind of its own and will do whatever it wants to do without your knowledge or consent. Case in point, my feet still being swollen and not being able to fit into any of my shoes except for some flats I recently bought a whole size bigger. There are things beyond the realm of my control, but one of the things I used to be able to reliably control was my body. But lately (especially when I step on the scale these days), my body has been basically like, "Oh, you thought you were in control? Hahaha...sike." So, I'm stuck with swollen feet, a dark postpartum belly, weird marks in other places (please, God let them fade) and a lot of extra junk, and not just in the trunk.

I know, I should just accept the fact that my body just performed the miraculous a little over two weeks ago and give myself a break. And then here comes my personal trainer brother calling me asking about my postpartum workout plans and talking about some "fasted cardio." Boy, if you don't...

So, although my body and I worked together on the big day, it's continuing to do its own thing. Body, my friend, can we please get back on the same page? Kthxbai.