Acknowledgements

I thought this day would never come.  I submitted a complete, revised dissertation to my adviser Monday night.

I wrote a dissertation.

Yup.  Past tense.  I wrote it.  I did it.  It's done.  It's over.  It is finished.

Except...not quite yet.  I still have my defense coming up: I will stand before my committee (wearing an appropriate power suit) and summarize my project, emphasizing its contribution to the field, after which my committee will commence to mercilessly grill me.

Well...not quite that bad, but you get the idea.

Anyway, one of the last things I wrote was my acknowledgments.  I sat and thought of all the people who have supported, encouraged, inspired and guided me throughout my academic career.  It was a really humbling exercise.  The realization of how much other people have contributed to and have been absolutely essential to my success...it's really humbling.

Acknowledgement is what I often fail to do consistently with God.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.  And when I fail to acknowledge Him, I start to think that it's all up to me and start getting anxious and fearful.  I begin to forget that He's got this; He always has and He always will.

Suffice it to say that the last paragraph of my acknowledgements was an unashamed shout out to the good Lord.  I felt like a gangsta rapper accepting an award.  "I wanna thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..."  Like, um, God ain't pleased with your violent, misogynistic materialism, son.  Just sayin.  But I digress.

Intellectualism is looked down upon in the church world, and faith is looked down upon in academia.  But the former didn't stop me from pursuing my PhD, and the latter didn't stop me from acknowledging God and quoting the Word in my dissertation.

One of the life lessons I still haven't mastered yet is learning not to care.  Learning to just be who I am, who I know I am, who I was created to be, be content with it, accept it, embrace it, and not care.  I'll get there one day.

But in the meantime, as of July 20, you can address me as Dr. while I'm still figuring it all out.