The Struggle Is Part of the Story

This semester, I'm teaching two classes I'd never taught before.  One is the second semester of elementary Spanish, which I wasn't too freaked out about, but the other, Latino Literature and Culture, represents the first time I've taught a literature, content-based class at the university level.  When I first realized I would be teaching it, I was freaking out.

Now, it has turned out to be my favorite class.  My students are a diverse group of amazing kids and teaching this course reminds me that I'm doing what I've always wanted to do...teach literature.

A student in my class had problems with anxiety and depression and began missing a lot of days.  I became concerned about her and reached out to her and she was upfront with me about what she had been experiencing and let me know that she'd taken steps to get help.  She asked if she could stay enrolled in my class and asked if she could make up the work she missed and I let her know I was willing to work with her.

Yesterday, she totally surprised me with a beautiful, hand-decorated thank you card telling me how grateful she is that I gave her a second chance and a drawing featuring the quotation "The struggle is part of the story."  It took everything in me not to just well up with tears right then and there.

Sometimes, many times, I question myself.  What am I even doing?  Why did I decide to start this PhD program?  Hard work, very little pay, no guarantees...but I have to stop and realize that I was placed here for a reason.  That this difficult time has a purpose, I have a goal in sight, and it will pay off.  At the same time, I have to realize that neither is this time a mere means to an end.  This is a season in my life, but I'm still living my life.  This time is a part of my story.

My student said, "Miss Smith, you have no idea how much you've helped me and how much your understanding means to me."  In reality, she has no idea how much she's reminded me of my purpose.

Writing a dissertation is one of the most difficult things I've ever undertaken.  It can get very discouraging at times.  But I have to remember that starting this program was the best decision I've ever made.  Moving to Athens gave me a chance to start over, get grounded, further my education. I have supportive mentors in my committee.  I found a loving church community to be a part of.  I met the love of my life.  All of these things are a part of my story, too, and I am grateful.