Snobby, Sensitive, Persnickety Rant

The title is warning enough, I guess.

I hate when people ask me how long my PhD program is going to take.

Okay, let me qualify that a little.  I don't mind at all if someone just purely wants to know how long getting a PhD takes.  I'm not such a snob that I expect everyone to know.  It generally takes at least 4 years.  Two years of coursework, a year to prepare for and pass comprehensive/qualifying exams, and a year (usually more) to write the dissertation.  I plan to finish ASAP.  I want to finish in 4 if at all possible.

But back to my rant.  I guess what I hate is not the simple asking, but the reactions after I answer.  Example:

Person: So, how long is this PhD going to take?

Me: At least four years.

Person: FOUR YEARS??  Wow!  That's a really long time!! Oh, my gosh!!  (Continues with other expressions of bewilderment and freaking out and nearly fainting because of the exorbitantly, inordinately long amount of time of four years.)

I cannot express how annoying that is.  My God, shut up.  You aren't the one getting your PhD, so why are you flipping out about how long it's going to take me?  Four years is definitely a commitment, but in the big scheme of things, it really isn't that long.  At least it doesn't seem that way to me.  I'm already nearing the end of my first year . . . it really has flown by.  You're acting like I'm going to be on my deathbed by the time I finish.  Please, have some foresight.

Here's what really bugs me, though:  When the question of how long it's going to take is followed by an absurd guess.  Example:

Person: So, how much longer do you have in school?  A year?

Me: (struggling to not let my voice take on an annoyed tone) Noooo.  It's a PhD.  It'll take at least 4.  I'm at the end of my 1st year, so I have at least 3 more to go.

Person: (if I failed to hold back the annoyance enough) Oh.  I didn't know.

Dude, do you know what a PhD is?  A year?  I know, I'm being a sensitive snob, but really?  A year?  You have zero idea of how much time and work and effort it takes to get an education.  I know what you think about me . . . a single, school-obsessed, liberal, snobby weirdo, maybe.  But can I help that? You're probably thinking, Why the heck are you going back to school for that long? You're not getting any younger!  Don't you want to get married and have kids?  I know, I know.  But I can't help that.  I have to do what I have to do to take care of myself.  Do you expect me to wait around for a husband and kids to drop in my lap?  It's not going to happen that way, honey.  The Lord literally directed me onto this path, and I have no choice but to follow it.  And it's going to take longer than a freakin' year.

I don't know how else to express that I'm cool with where I am right now.  I'm doing really well.  After a rough patch of instability, I've leveled off and I feel like I've hit my stride again.  I can rest assured in the fact that I know I'm where He wants me to be right now.  I'm not going to say that I never, ever have doubts.  It's a constant process of waking up every day and choosing to believe that He has it under control.  I know I could stand to readjust my attitude.  I can be a snarky little snob sometimes.  I just wish people wouldn't react in alarm when I tell them how long this leg of my journey is going to take.