When I was sixteen, I would take a dumb handsome guy over a smart ugly one, hands down. Now, I couldn't tolerate a dumb handsome one for too long and am much more open to smart uglies.
When I was sixteen, I thought turning thirty was waaay, far off. That by that time I'd be all established, maybe slightly hunched over from age. Definitely married with kids. Now . . . I laugh at my sixteen-year-old self SO hard.
When I was sixteen, I had very low self esteem and was extremely insecure. I internalized everything. I dramatized everything. I wanted to fit in so badly. Now, I am so much more confident in who I am, and know that I don't have to fit in. In fact, now I wonder if I even want to.
When I was sixteen, I thought I wanted to live in a foreign country forever. Now, after traveling to and living in a few foreign countries, I know that I would always want to come back home.
When I was sixteen, I used to think that all decisions were etched in stone. I thought that once a decision was made, there was no room for revision, that everything was do or die. Now, I know that changing your mind or quitting or starting something new or trying something else or starting something over or realizing it works better another way is life, plain and simple.
When I was sixteen, I thought that one day I'd figure it out. That one day, I would have this magic moment and it would all come clear. Now, I realize that I won't ever have a magic moment. Things will never come clear all at once. It making sense depends on trust, and things are revealed in fragments, in pieces that fit together in surprising ways.
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