On this dreary Friday morning, I reflect.

Middle brother's going to Iraq today. Again. Not out of obligation, but out of choice, which really burns my biscuits. I could see if he was a patriot or something, but he's chasing that paper. That's it. I love the kid and I know he has his reasons. But he's stubborn. It's flinty-edged. I know what I'm doing. I'm a man. I have to do what's right for me. I'm doing it despite what you think. I'm. I. I. I. Well, I'm big sister, and I'll always be. I know France and Iraq are worlds apart, but why I went to France and why he's going to Iraq coincide like the middle part of a Venn diagram. And I tried to tell him. Running away from it will never resolve it. It'll follow you there. And it'll still be there when you get back.

Last night, I wanted Cheezie's pizza. Pepperoni and cheap and good. They close at 9:00. The Lord sent green light angels and gave my car the wings of the morning. I got there at 8:55. The lone pizza guy there was young and my smile softened his heart. He just happened to have made one pepperoni pizza too many. It was the will of God. I told the pizza guy that, too.

I just have to accept the fact that if anyone of the opposite sex in my orbit ever shows up on my father's radar, he will scrutinize every single thing. There will always be flaws. They will never measure up. Even if I have previously rejected the person as a serious contender myself, my father will remind me of the flaws and accentuate them and exaggerate them. No matter who it is or how I old I get, my father will do this. My father will also act hard core if a situation arises where I won't be around (i.e., getting accepted into a PhD program a state away). He is proud of me, but he can't be effusive about it because he is a dad. And I am a daughter.

I have a good car. I love my good old car. The only times I've had to take it in for anything serious was because of something dumb I did. My check engine light came on when I got into my car the other day. The next day the light was off. If it comes back on, I'll take it in.

My official acceptance letter came in the mail today. Forms and forms and forms. O ye of no health insurance and out-of-state status.

Life doesn't go as planned. It just doesn't. So what's a girl do to?

1. Have a meltdown every time it doesn't.

2. Enjoy the ride.

I'm shooting for #2.