The Absurd

I think I saw the worst movie in my life in French Civilization today called Play Time. It was absolutely absurd and plotless and had virtually no dialogue. People were getting up and leaving! I felt so bad for my professor. I love the little guy to death. He really is the best. He's travel size, has an impeccable Colonel Sanders-style goatee, and the most intricately trimmed sideburns. He has a pair of glasses that sits on the edge of his nose. There are no little ear thingies. He also has a pocket watch. And to top it off, he literally knows everything. But today, he was sitting there cracking up at the movie while the rest of us were kind of like, really?

We have a sub this week for grammar, vocab, and written production and comprehension. She looks like an older, female, French version of the Mad Hatter. She came in with this slightly unkempt, offbeat, yet exigent air, and her laugh has a touch of the maniacal. I really think she's trying, and part of me feels bad for her because it's tough to come in to a new group and pick up where someone left off. She doesn't know us, doesn't really have a feel for our level of French . . . I mean, as an educator, I can see her side of things. But, ugh. Today was excruciating. It was absurdly surreal. Like a Dali painting come to life. We're doing all of these random, boring things, and though I know she's not purposely trying to make people feel uncomfortable or confused, she's doing just that. With her circuitous, unclear explanations and her rather abrasive, I'm-the-professor-don't-you-get-it-somebody-answer-me-now manner, she doesn't make things any easier.

Today the cold wind was so strong it pushed me along a little bit as I walked home.

Dear France,

We only have two more months together. And we need to work some things out so that these last two months aren't a catastrophe. First of all, I'm going to need you to get your weather game in order. Why is it snowing in parts of France other than the Pyrenees right now? You know it's May, right? And secondly, I'm going to need you to stop making me feel like I'm drowning in Syrup of Depression all the time. You're supposed to be fun and lively. You're supposed to make me feel sophisticated and polished and enlightened. I'm supposed to go back home and dazzle people with my sparkle and verve, not dampen everyone's psyches by sloshing melancholia all over the place and looking like French workers went on strike from me.

I know, your first instinct might be to blame me, as you are wont to blame Americans, and okay. I get it. I'll own up to my part. I'm an adult. But you've got to hold up your end of the deal too and stop making me cry over absurd things if at all possible.

Cordialement,

Moi