Odds n' Ends

We all know the devestating feeling of unrequited love--you're really feelin' someone, but they just ain't feelin' you. They want to be "just friends." Oh, and then to have to see them with someone else. Ouch. Well, this devotion on ninetyandnine makes a parallel between that feeling, and how Jesus might feel when we relegate Him to "just friends" status. Check it out here.

And now, for some hearty laughs. I got this forward and nearly busted a gut:

You a Ghetto Christian If . . .
1. You lie on an application to get a job and then get up and testify that "God made a way out of no way"
2. You get mad at a visitor and call them out for sitting in your seat.
3. You tell the preacher to baptize you from the neck down because you just got your hair did!
4. You take 2 hours to get ready for church, get there late, and leave early!!!
5. You open your Bible & cough from the dust that flies out.
6. Your wedding song is 'Secret Lovers'.
7. You do not lift your hand during worship because your acrylic nail is broken.
8. The only time you like to sing in the choir is when they let you sing "your" song.
9. You do not tithe because you say, "the preacher might be crooked and stealing the Lord's money, so I don't want to give it to him."
10. After you've done wrong and someone has rebuked you, you don't repent but you say, "Well the Lord knows my heart."
11. If you have ever said, "show me in the Bible where it says, thou shall not smoke."
12. Your favorite part of the service is the benediction.
13. You buy "hot" merchandise and testify the Lord blessed me with a TV, jewelry, clothes, etc.
14. You overheard someone say, "We got fed today at service" and you asked if they served chicken.
15. You finish smoking on the outside of the church and then try to lead a song, get choked up, holding your throat and say to the congregation, "The devil don't want me to sing this song!"