Just say that out loud to yourself. When I say ‘singles mingle’ it simply turns my gut. Just the sound of it makes it seem like an event that I don’t want to attend. What kinds of images converge in your head? It gives me the image of odiferous, undesirable juices slowly trickling and flowing together to mingle and form some even more odiferous and undesirable byproduct.
I know, I’m being dramatic. Maybe I’m a little cranky and hormonal too. This whole week we’ve been having our District Camp Meetings and Thursday night (tonight) has been designated as the Singles Mingle. Tonight after service at Ruby Tuesday. On a Thursday.
Maybe I’m being frivolous, but I just can’t bring myself to do the singles thing. You know, up to about . . . hmmm, 21 or so, you’re churchly defined by your age. Children’s church. Teen’s class. Youth service. But then, once you’re like good and settled in your twenties, you become defined by your marital status. Single.
Now, I don’t mind being single too much. Really, I know it’s all good. I’m 24, I’m handling my business. I’m not freaking out about it. And I hope I never get to the point that I do. But for some reason, I have this aversion to doing “singles” stuff. I’ve never been to a singles conference. I have this notion that if I gave in and resigned myself to doing the singles thing that I would place myself into an environment where I’d just be breathing in all this desperation-filled air. That I would be putting myself out into the meat market, freshly cut from the cow. Pentecostally selling myself. Putting myself up for grabs. “Look, guys, no ring!” The very thought is so icky to me. As unattractive as force feeding yourself a bowl of cold, lumpy grits.
Now, I know times have changed. People do the “college and career” thing now, and I’m really down with that. But it hasn’t really caught on here yet. Right now I feel like it’s “Poor old sad single folks. Let’s let ‘em mingle and maybe a few here and there will get together and be happy.”
A million people must’ve asked me if I were going to the Singles Mingle tonight. Sample conversation:
Person: Are you going to the Singles Mingle tonight?
Me: No.
Person: Aww, you really ought to. It’s just for fellowship. They’re going to have some really nice door prizes.
Me: I know, but . . . I’m not going.
Person: Come on, why?
Me: Because I don’t want to.
Person: (after an awkward pause) Party pooper.
I know, I know, I’m being cranky and a party pooper and maybe even a little snobby. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be. I know the Singles Mingle is not by virtue going to be a desperation-filled meat market. How unfair of me to categorize it as such. But I can’t help it.
5 comments:
I know how you feel, Chantelle. I came into the church when I was 23 and people were constantly trying to matchmake. They thought I was this poor, lonely, unhappy single person, which just wasn't the case. I went to one singles event, which was held on the Thursday night of campmeeting....believe it or not!....*smile*.... and it was my last. I am sure that the organizers meant well, but for me it just didn't work. It felt as though we were all there to see what was available, you know? So I do understand your decision not to go.
wow, great minds think alike. it starts so young in a church culture...and sadly, even if you are ok being single until you are 104, by that time your friends will all be engrossed in their marriages and families and you have a good chance of being alone anyway. sigh. i feel another blog coming on.
I'm with you Chantell. I don't like to categorize myself with those events because it should read "Desperate Singles!" We're single, but we're not desperate. Let us not mistake the fact that we could be those young married,pentecostal girls. This life hasn't chosen us, we have chosen it. We are holding out for that GREAT guy, not just that average guy.
Judgemental are we? Or is it just mental? *sigh*
I hear ya! When I think singles I think “over 30 divorce club”. I know that’s horrible but that’s really what it is here. Luckily, in the last few years they’ve started a great college and career group at my church. I love it because it’s not the meat market hook ups group. It’s the we’re all 20 something and want to hang out. LOL Anyway, don’t give into peer pressure ;o) And know that *singing* “Someday you’re prince will come!!” And when he does make sure he has an older tall brother for me when you do! lol
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