Today I saw a baby being born. I won’t get too graphic, but I saw everything. I saw the little guy come out, I saw what came out after the little guy came out, I saw the cord being cut . . . I mean, I had front row seats to a live birth.
It was amazing on one hand, but a tad unsettling on the other. Maybe ‘unsettling’ isn’t the right word. ‘Raw’ maybe? I was just like, “Whoa. This is real life.” It was sobering, a lot to take in, but at the same time, miraculous and beautiful.
I’m going to be honest and say that the circumstances surrounding the birth were difficult. A young, unmarried girl with mental challenges. An uninvolved, non-existent father. The new grandma, a co-worker, and I became family.
Will this be me one day? Before the birth, one of Grandma’s co-workers dropped by to visit. She looked at my 5’6, 110-pound frame, my girlish denim skirt and flip-flops and said, “Could you even imagine Chantell having a baby? Her little self?”
I don’t think it’s really my size; I think, perhaps, especially when I’m out of my professional teacher wear, that I still give off somewhat of an adolescent air. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think, “I’m 24?” I suppose I'll be thankful when I'm older.
Anyway, I hope when that time comes that my mom will be there, comforting me, waiting on me, giving me all the little bits of motherly advice. (Perhaps my pops will be chilling in the waiting room). I hope that I will be supported and loved by an amazing man who will be by my side and who will be determined to help raise our child in a godly, loving home.
I hope that I will look into my child’s eyes and realize that I am holding a part of myself.
3 comments:
I'm 22 and I still have moments when I look 12. Acutally there are more moments that I look 12 than I actually look my age. Ok, so I don't think I've EVER looked my age. But I tell myself, I'll be glad when I'm older. Unless all the years come down on me at once. Maybe one day I'm looking 20 and the next day I'm looking 30! Oh man, what a situation!
The fact that I have braces sure doesn't help any!
Okay, well, I am 54 and the good Lord knows I haven't looked 12 for decades! LOL Hallelujah....I wonder if the gray hair gives it away? Though most people guess my age at around 47ish, so that is pretty good,hm? Chantelle, I just love reading your blog and while I did read you faithfully on ninety and nine, I am glad you are "home" again. *smile*
My husband and I chose for it just to be the two of us there when I gave birth to our son. It was the closest time of bonding that we have shared together before or since. And now this son is 19 and has been called to the ministry. God is so good, Chantelle.
That had to have been such an amazing experience...I can't even watch a baby being born on t.v. without crying, and undergoing all kinds of emotional duress... nice writing too. ;-)
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