The Guy in My Class, Part III

Here are Parts I and II for your convenience.

There is a paradox in guys' dealings with girls. Guys, listen up. If you are super intense, your chances are usually shot. If you are calm and make the girl feel like you're not trying to get with her, then your chances go up. It's counterintuitive, I know. It seems like if you lay compliments on thick, show her your wittiness by a series of cunning emails and texts, and shower her with flowers and attention and implications that "she might be the one" that you're sure to get some kind of positive response. That only works if the girl is 100% into you from the get go. But if you're cool, talk about intellectual/spiritual/engaging stuff without even dipping into relationship talk, and behave totally friendly and platonic and like you're not trying to size her up for the kill, you're a lot better off.

I had another coffee outing with the guy in my class (Gimc) today. Yes, outing. I will not call it a date, because it wasn't one. When I walked into Starbucks (I purposely got there early so I could go ahead and get my drink so that he would not attempt to pay for it), I found that the guy behind the counter spoke Spanish. He was taking classes at a local college and I mentioned that I had started the Spanish Master's program at Auburn. He then asked if I knew Gimc! Apparently, they knew each other when Gimc transferred to that local college to play soccer. I guess he'd heard that Gimc had started grad school at Auburn. I gasped. I then informed the guy at the counter that not only did I know him, but that I was meeting him in a matter of minutes. Weird! In a matter of minutes, Gimc walked in.

Gimc is really cool. I'm glad that he's not tall and mind-blowingly fine. If he were, I'd probably have trouble seeing him as the cool friend I see him as now. Being infatuated is fun, but it's also emotionally draining and time consuming. And I could really stand to do without that type of involvement. It is so refreshing to have the kind of conversation I had with Gimc. I mean, we talked about intellectual/spiritual stuff that really made me feel like God had our paths cross for a reason. And I don't mean so that he'd end up being Mr. Wonderful. I mean so that he'd realize the importance of maintaining a consistent relationship with God. I didn't tell him, "Gimc, you should go to church." I didn't even imply it, because going to church is not in and of itself the solution. But HE ended up saying, " I know I need to get my relationship with God back on track." HE ended up saying that he wanted to come to church with me when he was free.

Gimc has never said any outrightly flirtatious/complimentary (appearance-wise) things to me. He doesn't make it seem like he's trying to get with me. Like he's trying to inch towards "seriousness." He really makes me feel like he appreciates my insights instead of simply my looks and "qualifications." This is good.

I have a bad habit of mentally categorizing guys into "potential" and "non-potential," regardless of how well I know them, and that's a pretty narrowminded way to look at relationships. I'm working on breaking that habit. I'm not going to allow my mind to put Gimc into either of those categories because I know those categories are irrelevant in a friendship.

One of the things I have prayed is that God would allow me to expand my circle of friends where I am. Most of my friends are far away, in other states. There aren't many people I click with and hang out with here. I think Gimc is just a small answer to that prayer.